Randomishedishness
by TheDreamChild
Summary: Take an obsessive author and her assorted friends. Have her muse join Beckett and steal her author powers. Then add the Chinese zodiac, a turkey vulture, a psychopathic killer, and a daring chase across FanFictiondom. PotC x everything. Rated for safety.
1. Diversions

Commodore James Norrington slipped out of the authoress's house silently. Something had to be done about her. He and the other "commandeered" characters locked away in her imaginary house had all agreed that the authoress, who for the sake of the story we shall call Inwë, was far too obsessed with _Pirates of the Caribbean_. Every other thing she said was a quote, usually of Captain Jack Sparrow. She would randomly start on the "Why is the rum gone?" conversation whenever she was nervous. She listened to nothing but the _Dead Man's Chest_ soundtrack and pined for the next movie to be out. Raven, the eldest and most respected of Inwë's "borrowed" friends, had had to slip an alternate CD into the player while the Elf wasn't looking. She had been too busy working on _Pirates_ fiction to notice. And, despite the fact that he disliked any pirate, Norrington couldn't help but admit that he was worried about her. More than once he and Raven had attempted to talk sense into her, but Inwë was stubborn and had threatened to turn Norrington in to the American authorities if he didn't be quiet. That was, unfortunately, a good threat. The Commodore _was_ a privateer on behalf of England, meaning he had license to attack any ship that didn't sail under the colors of the Crown. That aside, he was also in the country illegally. Going through border security with a sword and an eighteenth centaury costume would raise awkward questions. So, for the past three months, he had hidden with the authoress. Up until now.

Norrington and Raven had devised a plan. A plan to bring a little variety back into Inwë's dull obsessive life. Norrington was purposefully going to get arrested.

It had been his idea. Raven was too quiet and…creepy…to be of much use outside of careful planning, not to mention she wasn't exactly "arrestable", being a minor and rather difficult to capture and hold for more than a few minutes. So, Norrington had agreed to waltz out and do something…probably just go to a tavern and pretend to be drunk, raving about getting into the country without a passport or something of the kind. When Inwë got home, bored and listless, Raven, Sirius, and Inwë's pet "Charlie" would rush over and explain about how they couldn't stop the Commodore from leaving. Appalled, the Elf would probably run off and petition the government to release Norrington. At least, that's how Raven said she'd react, though Norrington hadn't like the faint deceptive glint in her eyes and didn't entirely trust her. The girl was half _demon_, after all!

"Good evening," said the barman at the tavern Norrington had wandered into. He gave the Commodore a wary look, nervously eyeing the cutlass sheathed at his side.

"Ya from around here, mister?" the man continued. Norrington glanced over his shoulder at the other occupants of the bar. They were all staring at him. He looked back quickly at the owner of the inn.

"No, actually. I was just stopping in for a drink," he replied. A few people murmured to each other as they heard his distinct English accent. The barman slowly passed him his drink and then vanished into the back room. Norrington sighed to himself. He could almost hear the man calling the police to inform them that some British guy, who, by the looks of him, had just escaped from a mental clinic, was sitting at his bar sipping on cheap beer. Sure enough, five minutes later Norrington could faintly hear the wail of sirens coming closer. He didn't move, acting unconcerned, though inwardly he was regretting trying to help the authoress. It wasn't until the door burst open and three policemen stepped into the bar that he glanced up. The three policemen looked at each other uncertainly. Norrington almost chuckled: this was obviously _not_ a scenario they were used to.

"Ummm…sir, you're under arrest for disturbing the peace and entering a bar with a weapon," the first policemen said nervously. Norrington looked bewildered, but then shrugged.

"If you insist," he sighed as he stood up and handed the officer his sword. Now it was their turn to look surprised.

"Ok…ummm…you have the right to remain silent…"

Enter the authoress. She was, once again, sulking slightly as she walked down the deserted street towards her "home". The thought that it was still two hundred and thirty-seven days until _Pirates of the Caribbean 3_ came out depressed her immensely. Even the soundtrack of _Dead Man's Chest_ no longer cheered her up. Just as she got to the door, she heard scuffling on the other side. Curious, she opened the door and stepped inside. If anyone had been moving around it wasn't obvious. Raven was being her usual self and was sitting in the darkest corner with a book in Romanian open in front of her. Sirius, who unfortunately had been trapped in his dog form since he had appeared on Inwë's doorstep, was curled up comfortably on the sofa. Charlie was busy playing some sort of complicated video game on the computer. When Inwë slipped inside, they all looked up. Sirius was first to respond. He ran over to her and whined slightly.

"What's the matter?" Inwë asked at once, looking concerned. Raven sighed heavily and got to her feet.

"Oh nothing. Just that Norrington went and got himself arrested," she answered in her low, croaky voice. Inwë immediately froze and had a double take.

"He what?" she asked in her equally low voice. Charlie minimized the game window on his computer and walked over.

"Got arrested. Are you getting a bit hard of hearing?" Inwë gave him a look and he cringed slightly.

"Don't make me send you back to the _Lost_ island three weeks early," she growled. He looked slightly hopeful. Rolling her eyes, Inwë added, "With the Others and a boat load of fan girls." Charlie flinched as if she had hit him with a hot poker.

"What are we going to do about Norrington?" Raven continued, raising her voice slightly to drown out any further comments.

"Spring him from jail, of course! I'm not a pirate for nothing," Inwë replied loftily, folding her arms and smiling slightly. Raven and Charlie groaned.

"We can't spring him from jail, remember?" Charlie reminded her. Inwë laughed slightly.

"Oh yes!" she said in exactly the same manner Jack had at his hanging. She stopped grinning when Raven smacked her over the back of the head.

"Ow."

"How about we just head over there and pay the bail, all right?" Raven said in annoyance. Inwë grumbled some sort of agreement and stomped towards the door.

"We can't leave the house, we're too easily recognized," Raven sighed when Inwë glanced back at them. Sirius barked and stared at them hopefully.

"Sirius, if someone saw you and figured out who you were…" Inwë began. The black dog sat down and glared at her.

"Oh _fine_, but if you get killed again don't blame me!" the Elf relented, opening the door and allowing the dog to go ahead of her. Raven suddenly tossed her a bag.

"What's this?" the authoress asked, peering into the sack.

"Your pirate costume." Inwë grinned at her.

"Very funny. SIRIUS!" she called over her shoulder. The shapeshifter stopped and stared at her.

"Lemme change into my costume! Gimme FIVE minutes!" With that she hurtled off to her own room and was back in _ten_ minutes. She was in her most splendid pirate garb. A baggy cream shirt, baggy grey pants, and her brown riding boots made up most of the outfit, with a red scarf around her head and another around her waist. Beads, hand strung, dangled from her hair as she straightened her Jack Sparrow hat in the mirror.

"Pirate," Charlie muttered as he went back to his video game. Inwë gave him a disdainful look before she strutted out the door.

"Expect me back within a few hours. If I'm not back by noon tomorrow, send the rescue party, savvy?" With that she was gone. Raven and Charlie heaved sighs of relief.

"I really hate her when she's a pirate."


	2. Vulture, Meet Beckett

"What do you mean I can't see him?" Inwë snarled at the guard who stopped her from going to see Norrington. The guard simply shook his head and stood firmly in front of the door.

"I'm his attorney!" she protested. The man raised an eyebrow. The authoress tapped her foot impatiently.

"Ok, I'm not his attorney. I'm his sister. Can I see him now?" The man gave her a look. She let out a long, angry breath and partially closed her eyes.

"Let me in, or I shall be forced to use my insane powers as authoress to _make_ you let me in. Are we clear, or do you need me to demonstrate by sending you to another dimension?"

"Nope. Sorry. No visitors except certified attorneys. And no pets," he added, giving Sirius a disgusted look. The dog growled at him.

"Fine. You leave me no choice." The guard vanished in a puff of black smoke that smelled like…umm…another dimension. Smiling with satisfaction, the Elf kicked the door dramatically and it swung open. She waltzed into the room and glanced around. In the cell farthest from the door sat a very dejected looking Commodore.

"Well, well. What have we here, Twigg? Erm, Sirius," the girl added with a sidelong glanced at the shapeshifter. He let out a short breath rather like a frustrated sigh.

"Never mind the quotes. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" she demanded in a loud voice. Norrington winced.

"We just wanted to try and distract you from your obsession," he said meekly.

"_We_?" The authoress rounded on Sirius, who was innocently looked the other way.

"Raven, Charlie, Sirius, and I decided something had to be done," the Commodore continued. Inwë moaned and rubbed her forehead.

"Bloody pirates."

"Indeed," said a new voice. All three people jumped and whirled.

"Oh seriously _not_ good," Inwë said quickly as she spotted the speaker. Funny how people you have vendettas against always wind up in your fan fiction, isn't it? For, as his pompous tone implied, it was none other than _Lord_ Cutler Beckett. Here the authoress had to pause in her typing to laugh evilly as she thought of the horrible fate awaiting her newest archenemy.

"Well, Miss Elendil," the villainous lord continued, interrupting the authoress's moment of cruel musing, "I see you fell for the trap perfectly."

"Hang on," the authoress replied, "I didn't include a trap in this story! I included my getting Norrington out and the pair of us going back to my place for rum and cookies! This is supposed to be a oneshot."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but your muse has come over to MY side. Haven't you…_Arwen_?" Now, before anyone freaks out the authoress and her new muse would like to say that this is NOT the same Arwen from _Lord of the Rings_, but a muse with the actually Welsh name that means, literally, "muse".

Anyways, a thin, straggly looking young woman with lank red hair stepped out from the shadows. She looked rather like a starving wolf: weak, but vicious and desperate.

"Bloody hell! What've you done to my muse? She's…uninspired. How is she ever supposed to recover from this? How am _I_ ever supposed to recover from this?" the authoress spazzed. Beckett grinned at her.

"Your muse is in perfectly good health, she's just a little tired from transferring all her powers and creativity into this." He dangled a pendant on a silver chain in front of Inwë, who recognized it as something she had lured the muse out of her corner with.

"Oi! That's mine!" she snapped, making a grab for it. Beckett easily pulled it out of reach.

"Now, now, Elf, behave yourself. After all, if I wanted I could always delete your character. You see, _I_ now count as the author. I control your muse, I have something of yours that channels your creative powers, and with them comes the ability to change things as I will. For instance." He waved a hand and Inwë found herself in the jail cell next to Norrington. She glared at Arwen, her muse.

"Traitor," she growled.

"Pirate!" the muse replied, smiling.

"I need to stop obsessing. I think it's affecting people." Beckett cleared his throat.

"As I was saying, I'm in control, and since you won't be getting ouuu -!" He was cut off by a cry like a hawk's. Randomly, a huge turkey vulture swooped in, snatched the necklace out of Beckett's hand, and flew off.

"I know that bird!" Inwë said, imitating Jack.

"AFTER IT!" Beckett shrieked shrilly. He and the deserter muse took off, leaving a very disgruntled Norrington and a confused Elf locked in their cells.

"Bloody hell," muttered the authoress. She glanced around.

"Sirius? Where are you?" she hissed loudly. A low whine from the shadows near the door answered her.

"Umm…can you maybe get us out?" Sirius slunk from the darkness and whined again, lifting one paw off the ground suggestively.

"Oh…right…no hands. Ummm -." She was once again cut off by a loud, unfamiliar voice.

"BEWARE THE VOICE OF DOOM!" Everyone jumped and stared around, but there was no one to be seen.

"Who _are_ you?" Inwë asked, this time imitating Barbossa.

"I AM THE VOICE OF DOOM!"

"Yes, we know that one. Anything else?"

"Well…umm…I'm…eh…your Voice of Reason."

"Ah," the Elf said with a nod of recognition, "You're the one who keeps telling me that Beckett cannot suffer a fatal heart attack at his age, aren't ya?"

"Yes. It is my job to make sure you don't make up insane circumstances in your fanfiction."

"Like this?" There was an awkward pause.

"Well…I was just taking a nap, you see…it wasn't _my_ fault your muse went on strike and stole all your powers as authoress which manifest themselves in that necklace." Inwë blinked slowly.

"How did they manage that?"

"Every author has some object that their powers choose as a host. Just your bad luck that you gave yours to your muse without realizing it."

"_Former_ muse, and a deceased one when I'm through with her," the authoress muttered bitterly under her breath, "Sirius, mate, can you run and fetch my pals? Aki knows you're with me and she can alert Shaedan to our misfortunes, savvy?" Norrington stared at her. For once she had used the Jack Sparrow accent all the way through a sentence instead of only during his quotes. She shrugged.

"What? It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!" Sirius growled softly.

"Huh?" the Elf asked, ignorant of the growl's meaning.

"He says he isn't Lassie, and he doesn't 'fetch' things for anyone," the Voice of Reason replied. Sighing and murmuring about "insane circumstances", the Elf glared at the dog.

"Please, mate. You'd hate to see me hang, wouldn't ya?" Sirius stared back at her hollowly, then he too sighed and got up to leave.

"Good doggie," Inwë said a little too loudly. He growled again.

"I didn't mean it!"


	3. You Can't Have Escape Without Escapade

"…Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Inwë bellowed for the fiftieth time. Norrington was beginning to wish that Beckett had had the foresight to duct tape the Elf's mouth shut before he left. Perhaps this was meant to be some sort of torture.

"ELF!" he roared as the authoress started the song from the beginning. She smiled at him sheepishly.

"Apologies, Commodore. Would you prefer it if I recited the script for the first _Pirates of the Caribbean_ from start to finish?"

"NO! JUST BE QUIET!" Humbly, the authoress sat down in the dark corner. Her vow of silence lasted about ten seconds.

"Question, Norrington," she said lightly, "Who d'you think sent that turkey vulture?" The former British officer rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"I have a theory," said the disembodied Voice of Reason. Inwë jumped and looked at the ceiling, as if expecting the Voice's face to appear.

"And what might that be?" the Elf snapped. She had felt rather disinclined towards the Voice ever since it had first reminded her, all those years ago when she wrote her first short story in kindergarten, that unicorns do not eat sushi. After that it had been one logical reminder after another: "dark lords don't wear pink", "wizards are not all that lacking in brain power", "pirates don't bury treasure in the middle of mainland forests", and so on, ending with the latest reminder that "Beckett cannot suffer a fatal heart attack at his age."

"Well," said the Voice nervously at length, "I kind of sent it."

"WHAT?"

"I did save the pendant! Now Beckett doesn't have it!" it protested defensively. Inwë let out a low growl of fury.

"You mean to tell me that my powers as authoress are in the hands of a bird _that belongs to the Mouth of Sauron?_" she rasped as her hands shook with contained fury. The Voice chuckled anxiously.

"Well…after he died the first couple times the bird kind of deserted him. And I always had hoped to be advisor to Sauron someday," it added wistfully. Inwë groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"_Please_ tell me you know where the bird's going." Norrington stared hopefully at the ceiling. The last thing he wanted was the Elf going angsty on him – it was worse than when she was hyper.

"I know where it's going. It'll be tricky getting there, though, there are no portals to it save one. You're almost better off accepting the inevitable, Beckett will get there first."

"Where's the portal?" Inwë asked without looking up.

"There's no way you'd be able to get to it! Even if you escaped you'd be wanted men!"

"Tell me where the portal is, or it'll take more than authoress' powers to prevent me from grinding you into a fine powder." The Voice let out a low whimper.

"It's in the Museum of Art, the one you went on a field trip to."

"What does it look like?" Inwë sighed, remembering the huge museum and the four grueling hours it had taken to go through it.

"It's one of the model animals from the Chinese zodiac display. I don't know which one," the Voice answered. Norrington bit his lip and tried to remember the twelve animals from the zodiac. _Dog, rat, ox, ram, boar, rabbit, rooster, tiger, snake, monkey, dragon…_

"It's the horse," Inwë said in a low voice. Norrington hated it when she read his thoughts.

"How are you sure?" the former Commodore asked. The authoress rubbed her forehead and remained silent for a while.

"It's the Mouth of Sauron's idea of a joke."

"He doesn't control the bird anymore," the Voice reminded her in a singsong voice. Inwë gave the ceiling a look.

"You don't know him like I do. There's probably still a good deal of dark magic running in that bird's veins. Dark magic like that needs a host, and it's indirectly connected to the Mouth's mind. Subconsciously, if he learned of this little misadventure he might have thought it would be ironic for the portal to be the horse. The dark magic linked to the bird put that thought in the bird's subconscious, and it got transferred to the author's power." Norrington frowned as he digested this.

"Yes, but the horse isn't your zodiac sign," he pointed out. The Elf gave him a dry look.

"It's me we're talking about. The horse's characteristics match mine well enough, even if I wasn't born in the right year, plus it's common knowledge that horses are the one thing I'm more obsessed about than _Pirates of the Caribbean_. Also, 2003 was the Year of the Horse, and _Pirates_ came out then." Both Norrington and the Voice sighed. Just then, there was a screech of tires on pavement, angry and surprised yells, and the sound of a door bursting open. The Elf peered intently at the door. In a few seconds it swung open. Sirius bounded through, barking and wagging his tail. There was a suspicious red liquid staining his muzzle. Behind him, another figure glided into the room. It was a teenager, a year or so older than the authoress. She was dressed in full ranger garb, complete with cloak. She had a sword in her hand. Inwë looked exasperated.

"Well it's about bloody time!" she snapped, getting to her feet. The other teen rolled her eyes.

"Well we had to get through rush hour traffic. And there was this guy at the entrance who wouldn't let us in! He said we couldn't bring _weapons_ into the building."

"That's all well and good, Aki, but now I would appreciate it if you get us out, savvy?" Aki sighed.

"You're always so impatient."

"When my life's in danger? Yes." The ranger grinned and shook her head, then looked around for the keys.

"Too bad these aren't half-pin barrel hinges. Shaedan and I are putting a detention hall with half-pin barrel hinges into our manga. You need to read what we've written since last time we were together -."

"AKI!"

"Sorry." Aki snatched the keys from their hook and hurried to unlock the cell doors. Norrington listened anxiously for the sound of approaching guards. Once out, he, Aki, and Sirius sprinted for the door. Inwë lingered a moment.

"Not without my effects!" she called over her shoulder as she grabbed her Jack Sparrow hat.

The courtyard was in chaos. Guards were running around and shouting orders. Something (a grenade by the looks of it) had blasted the iron prison gate open. There was no getaway car in sight. Norrington almost stopped to question Aki, but the ranger just kept running. Up ahead, a car braked on the street. The front passenger door flew open. A second girl of Aki's age, also in ranger costume, was at the wheel. Aki pulled herself neatly into the seat next to her. Norrington and Sirius scrambled into the back. Inwë came pelting across the walkway. Two guards went after her, though they trailed behind by several yards. The Elf dove and landed in the back seat, almost crashing into Norrington.

"DRIVE!" she yelled as the guards closed in. The driver was looking uncomfortable.

"But I can only have two people who aren't related to me in the car at one time!" Inwë gave her a furious look and she stepped on it with a soft groan.

"I'm going to lose my license."

"If we get caught, that will be the least of your worries."


	4. My Precious is Lost

**A/N: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my pet Dom. You will see why AFTER you read it.**

* * *

The authoress sat quietly in the back seat of Shaedan's car. They had lost the police a while back and were heading to her place to plan out their next move. As far as they were aware, Beckett had no idea where the turkey vulture was going. That meant he didn't know where to start looking, and _that_ meant they had time to scurry off and get the clay horse from the zodiac display before Beckett did. It sounded all too easy.

The first thing they would need was a change of clothes. With Inwë looking like a pirate, Aki and Shaedan looking like rangers, and Norrington…looking like Norrington, they would be too easily recognized. From then on, they were traveling incognito. And that was why they were heading with all haste to Inwë's place. She didn't have a magical wardrobe for nothing.

Shaedan parked the car outside Inwë's house and shut it off. Cautiously, the five of them crept to the door. The authoress inserted her key and opened it. Inside, Raven was waiting for them. She looked a little amused.

"You've got company," she informed the Elf simply before stalking back to her dark corner. Inwë looked around nervously and spotted her beloved Charlie chatting gloomily with two men in suits. With a muffled shriek, she had charged over.

"NO! You can't have him back yet!" she said in a panic, forcefully clinging to Charlie's arm. The first man gave her a look.

"You've had him for the entire off-season of _Lost_. You will give him back to the producers; that was the agreement. Time's up." If looks could kill, the man in the suit would have been a smoking pile of ash.

"YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY PET FROM ME!" the authoress screeched, gripping Charlie's arm even more tightly. The young man looked uncomfortable.

"Well, Inwë, as much as I dislike the Others and being stranded on an island, they _do_ have a point…" The Elf gave him such a furious look that he quickly shut up.

"If you don't hand him over right now we'll hand him over to the fan girls," the man in the suit threatened.

"NO!" Inwë screamed, "That would kill us! You mustn't hurt the precious! It's _mine_, my own…my…_PRECIOUS._" Everyone in the room groaned.

"Will you just be quiet and give him back? You're giving me a headache," Raven growled. Inwë gave her a look and slowly released her pet.

"Fine. But if you try to kill him off again you will suffer the wrath of an angry authoress, savvy?"

"Perfectly. Right this way, Charles." Charlie grinned and eagerly followed the two men out to their waiting car. Inwë flinched noticeably as the car door slammed shut. She began muttering to herself in several languages.

"Stupid…_snaga_…tricksie…false…_rhaich_…MAS MUERTA!" Norrington rolled his eyes. He noticed the Elf's friends were doing the same.

"Are we going to go after that zodiac sign or what?" Shaedan demanded after several minutes. Inwë grumbled under her breath and nodded.

"Come with me, we need to get us all something to wear," she replied grumpily. They all followed her to the back. A large wooden wardrobe stood there. Inwë opened the door. Inside was an array of plain street clothes. She quickly grabbed jeans and a shirt before slamming the door shut.

"Ok, Aki, you next." The ranger in question opened the door again. The clothes looked the same to the casual observer, but they were all Aki's size. The same thing happened with Shaedan and Norrington. Satisfied with their disguises, they took turns changing in the bathroom. Norrington looked…odd…in jeans and a t-shirt, and without the wig.

"Right then, gents, Pack your other clothes in your packs and we'll be off," Inwë said with a sigh as she stuffed her grey Elvish cloak into her bag on top of her pirate gear. The others were just about to say something when there was the sound of glass shattering.

"SIRIUS! I told you to watch out for the vase!" Inwë roared. A low whine behind her made her jump. The dog in question was sitting right next to her.

"But if you're over here, then what -?"

"GET DOWN!" Raven suddenly yelled as she darted into the room. Without question, they all dropped to the floor, and none too soon. An explosion shook the building and sent debris flying everywhere. Coughing, they all got up and made a dash for the door just as the stench of smoke started filling their lungs.

Outside, the damage was evident. Smoke was rising in a thick column from the broken windows. There was no sign of who had started it.

"We have to get out of here," Shaedan pointed out when Inwë had not moved for some time. The Elf gave her a bewildered look.

"But what about my home?" she asked. The wail of sirens answered her.

"Come on, if we get caught here it'll be all our necks. You can stay at my place if you have to," Aki said irritably. Not comforted, the authoress reluctantly got into the car. It was a very long drive to the museum, and Beckett had probably found out about the portal. It was obvious that he had sent someone to set fire to the house so that Inwë and the others would be stalled.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's so short, I wanted to get it up before _Lost_ started.**


	5. Broken Glass and a Letter

**A/N: Teehee more randomness awaits! Of course, I have few or no hits on this so yeah. Is it because I, the authoress, am a character in the story? Well, this is more a just-for-fun story anyways. **

The drive to the museum was long. It was longer than the first time they had been there for a field trip, and it was certainly longer than Inwë was happy with. Serves her right for letting Shaedan drive. For the first hour Aki, Raven, and Inwë amused themselves by swapping vampire stories and comparing _Dracula_ and _Pride and Prejudice_, which the authoress quickly changed to comparing _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Pirates of the Caribbean_. What could she say? Same Elizabeth, same stingy short guy with a wig, same annoying parent-whose-only-desire-is-to-marry-his-or-her-children-to-the-highest-bidder scenario. Norrington did not appreciate the last remark. Sirius had the worst of it – he's so used to…umm…different forms of travel that he got carsick half way through. Fortunately he did not throw up in the car. The _last_ thing they needed was the car smelling like dog food.

When they finally pulled into the museum parking lot (three hours later, after exhausting all forms of conversation and getting violently ill from reading Fruits Basket while battling motion sickness), they were all about ready to kill each other. Inwë pulled her grey cloak out of her backpack and put it on. It was nearing midnight, and they would have some serious breaking-in to do. That is, if Beckie hadn't already beaten them there. Stupid speed limits.

They made an unpleasant discovery when they reached the door of the museum. The glass had been broken and the alarm wires cut. Exchanging nervous glances, the six went inside. Inwë tread carefully around the glass, the hem of her cloak just brushing a few pieces. Everything seemed undisturbed (aside from the glass), and Inwë momentarily hoped that Beckett hadn't figured out what the exact portal object was. Perhaps there was still time.

Moving silently deeper into the museum, they wound their way towards the Chinese Zodiac Display at the far end of the building. When they came up to it, they were not well greeted: the glass case had been shattered and the clay model horse was gone. The authoress paled sharply and walked more quickly to the display. A note, hastily scratched on parchment, lay on the shards of glass. Oblivious to the sharp edges of the broken material, Inwë leaned over and picked it up.

_Authoress and Co.,_

_You are reading this because you were too slow to beat me, Lord Cutler Beckett, to the prize. The clay horse is in my possession and I, along with your muse, are soon to be transported to the world where our mutual friend the turkey vulture fled. Once I hold that medallion in my hand, there are some changes I shall be making to your world. Firstly, America will once more be a British colony, along with India, Russia, France, Spain, the Caribbean islands, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Brazil. Secondly, I shall be king of England and her respective colonies. Thirdly, you and your friends will all be caught and hanged, along with that villainous pirate Jack Sparrow._

"CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!" the group chorused.

_Also, all forms of media that do not support me or my revised plot of _Pirates of the Caribbean _shall be dealt with severely. It would go down easier on you all if you surrender as soon as my reign is established. If you do so, I may be inclined to spare the lives of a few of you, excepting Mr. Norrington and Mr. Sparrow –_

Inwë could read no more. Furious, she crushed the paper into a small ball and threw it away from her. It dramatically exploded into flames in mid air. Letting out a growl of mingled anger and defeat, she dropped to her knees and buried her face in her hands.

"What have I done?" she moaned miserably. Aki raised an eyebrow.

"Come off it, mate!" she said encouragingly, "There's still hope."

"There is always hope!" Shaedan agreed heartily. The authoress shook her head and didn't look up.

"The villain's gone. And unless you've got a portal and a lot of sails hidden in that backpack – unlikely – then evil Mr. Beckett will be king long before you can reach him." Raven randomly smacked her over the back of the head. Inwë gave her a look.

"What was that for?" she demanded angrily. The half-demon gave her one of her long, slow looks.

"Angst." Muttering about how "that ranger's turning into Gibbs", the authoress stood up.

"Suggestions? Anyone?" she snapped. Aki raised her hand.

"We could ask your voice of reason," she pointed out. Inwë mentally kicked herself for not having thought of it.

"VOICE!" she shrieked, making everyone flinch, "Get yer sorry carcass over here before I decide to turn _you_ into sushi in my next fiction!"

"Y-yes?" the Voice stammered from somewhere over their heads.

"Is there any other portal to the turkey vulture's dimension?" Norrington asked before the authoress could snarl a question.

"Why, yes there is, sir!" it replied, happy to be spoken politely, "I forgot to mention that there is one other portal nearby. Do you recall," it added, addressing Inwë, "that katana?" Aki and Shaedan grinned.

"Oh, aye! The one we argued over for fifteen minutes whilst trying to decide which one of the two knives was a katana?"

"That's the one. Find it, and then each of you hold on to it. The 'magic word' as it is, is 'cockatrice'." Inwë rolled her eyes.

"That was relatively painless. You are aware that this is an insane circumstance, bordering on Sueishness?"

"_Painfully_ aware." Smirking triumphantly, the Elf skipped after her friends, humming the Tortuga theme from _Dead Man's Chest_.


	6. On Board

Finding the katana was easy. Getting it out of the glass case without the alarm going off wasn't. Normally Inwë would use her insane powers as authoress to magic it out. However, thanks to her muse she didn't have that option. Finally, Norrington solved their problem by tripping over a wooden chair, crashing into the case, and sending it flying. It landed with a tremendous _crash!_ on its side. The glass went everywhere. The authoress, her hands already bleeding from her reckless grabbing of Beckett's letter, got a nasty cut along the side of her face, but there was no permanent injury to anyone. After Raven established that the slice wound didn't need stitches, the six friends turned and picked up the ancient samurai weapon. Aki cradled it lovingly in her hands and scowled when Sirius put his paw on it.

"Don't scratch the metal!" she snarled. The dog whined and gave Norrington a desperate look, as if to say, "They're ALL crazy!"

"All right, mates, everyone touching the shiny weapon? Good. On three," Shaedan began.

"One!"

"WAIT!" Aki screamed. She dived around the corner and returned, clutching her backpack.

"I almost left the Furuba! And my notebook!" Shaedan and Inwë both shuddered as if disaster had been narrowly avoided. The ranger took in a long breath and began on the countdown.

"One! Two!"

"HOLD IT!" Inwë shrieked this time. She vanished around the corner and returned a while later with the costumes packs of her, Shaedan, and Aki.

"Now THAT would have meant trouble. Leaving without our costumes, honestly." She settled back into place and grinned at Shaedan to keep going.

"One! Two! THREE! Cockatrice!" There was a flash of light, a yell of surprise from Norrington (who had never traveled by magic, unlike the others), and a roaring sound. Then, suddenly, it was over. The six friends were standing on the deck of a ship, each of them still clutching the katana. The sails were unfurled and there was a brisk sea breeze. Norrington let go of the knife and looked around in awe.

"This…this is wonderful!" he exclaimed, grinning ear to ear, "Truly splendid!" Raven glared around at the bright sunshine, the turquoise waves, and the brilliant white sails.

"Next time can we go to Romania?" she asked. Inwë, Aki, and Shaedan were all laughing too joyfully to hear.

"WE'VE DONE IT! WE'VE GOT OUR OWN SHIP!" they crowed in unison. Sirius rolled his eyes and went to sit by Raven, who was looking even more grumpy than usual.

"Welcome to the Caribbean, love!" Inwë laughed, dancing a jig with a friend on each arm. They collapsed into a pile on the deck, still giggling madly. The authoress suddenly sat bolt upright.

"Mates! What's our ship called?" she wondered aloud. The others sat up too, looking curious.

"C'mon! Let's find out!" They all raced to the side of the ship and leaned over. In faded gold letters, the name _Sparrowhawk_ was painted on the wooden boards. Aki grinned wildly.

"Just like we talked about naming our ship!" she cried happily. Inwë was frowning slightly.

"Very odd," she mused quietly.

"That's what you call ironic," Aki agreed. They spent the next fifteen minutes dashing around the ship, exploring and setting up their hammocks in the crew's rooms. Since there were only two men, the guys would be sleeping in the captain's cabin. Speaking of whom…

"We need to pick a captain!" Shaedan declared as they all gathered on deck. Everyone murmured agreement.

"I nominate Norrington, since he's the only one who knows how to drive this thing," Inwë said half-heartedly. She took off her hat and put it on his head. He glowered at her.

"Only if I'm not required to wear this," he snapped, handing it back to her. She smiled triumphantly and stuck it back on her own head.

"Ok, Norrington, you'll be captain. And helmsman. And basically in charge of ordering us around. I nominate Raven for navigator and foreign relations officer," Aki added. The half-demon gave her a look.

"And my job will be…?"

"Read the maps, figure out where we are, and talk to people who speak odd languages. We'll handle the Spanish, you take care of the German and Romanian," Inwë informed her. She shrugged.

"Inwë can negotiate for the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal," Shaedan put in slyly. The Elf gave her a look.

"_Thanks_."

"What? It's a compliment! If we run into trouble you can talk our way out of it!"

"I'll hold you to that if we get kidnapped by _real_ pirates."

"Ehem," Raven interrupted, "I say Aki and Inwë can co-write the ship's log." There was a general muttering of "Aye."

"Ok, we'll do that whenever we're on guard duty. Anything else?" They turned expectantly to Norrington, who shook his head.

"It's been a long day, men…er, and women…so whoever can cook had better get to it." The three rangers immediately volunteered and scurried down to the galley. Shaedan set to work boiling water while Aki inventoried their stocks. Inwë made herself busy by rationing out grog for the group. She knew the water in the beverage made the alcohol's effects last longer, so she was careful not to hand out too much. Once that was done, she rejoined her pals and helped peel potatoes for stew.

"Mates, this is the life. When we get back, we have to kidnap each other and become ship's cooks for pirates," Inwë sighed contentedly. Aki pouted.

"What about running away to New Zealand and living like rangers?" she asked.

"Or running off to Romania to become gypsies?" Shaedan added. The authoress nodded sadly.

"Aye…we'll do those things too…how about after we rescue Jack we go to the Caribbean, eh?"

"Speaking of rescuing Jack, can we do that while we're here?" Aki wondered aloud. Inwë shook her head, this time truly miserable.

"I'm afraid not. Even my powers as authoress only go so far. If we went and changed the plot then we'd have to answer to a higher power."

"Who, God?" Shaedan inquired.

"No. Jerry Bruckheimer, Gore Verbinski, and the Killer Mouse."

"Sucks to be us."

"Tell me about it." Just then, Norrington poked his head in.

"Is that soup almost ready?" he demanded. Inwë gave him a look.

"No, Commodore, not just yet. There's grog, if you're thirsty." He wrinkled his nose.

"I'm trying to cut back on rum. That stint in Tortuga did me anything but good." Inwë cocked her head to one side.

"Oh, I dunno about that…taught you humility, for one thing, and you got to see how things are on our side of the world. Plus, you would've been arrested and hanged if you hadn't joined Captain Sparrow's crew." Norrington grumbled some sort of vague reply and left.


	7. Random Entrances

The next morning, at dawn, Raven and Sirius stumbled wearily down to their quarters and collapsed in their hammocks. That was everyone else's signal to get up and get to work. Of the group, only Norrington seemed fully conscious. After a stout breakfast of salted pork and leftover stew, the crew scrambled on deck and set to work navigating. They had a surprise waiting for them when they got on deck.

"AMAYA!" Shaedan, Aki, and Inwë all yelled happily when they spotted Shaedan's sister leaning casually against the deck rail. She glanced up when she saw them and grinned.

"I couldn't sit by and let you have all the fun, now could I?" Amaya asked after she escaped from the combined tackles of the trio, "And I brought Sakura with me." Aki's face lit up as her own sister popped out from behind the mast. There was renewed tackling until Norrington strode over, frowning.

"We are not running a vacation cruise here, nor a passenger barge! If you want to eat you have to work, so get to it!" he snapped. Inwë looked startled to be addressed in such a way, but at Norrington's slight shake of the head she refrained from questioning him at the moment. She lingered while the other scrambled to their stations and waited for the Commodore's explanation.

"Elf, it's a bad business all around. I spotted a sail on the horizon an hour ago." The authoress glanced apprehensively over her shoulder, but could see nothing.

"What ship was it? Or do you know?" she inquired nervously. His expression darkened.

"I suspect it is the _Flying Dutchman_." Fear gripped the Elf's heart and she shivered. If there was one death she feared above all others, it was death by drowning or death by octopus. With Davy Jones on their trail they faced both. Inwë absently rubbed her forehead and began pacing.

"This is bad."

"Yes."

"Beckett controls Jones."

"Yes."

"That's _your_ fault, if I remember rightly."

"Yes – I mean no!" The authoress gave Norrington a quizzical look and he blushed slightly.

"Maybe giving Beckett Jones' heart was a mistake," he said with an apologetic smile. Rolling her eyes heavenward, Inwë began to bang her head against the mast. After about two minutes, she stopped and glared sharply at the Commodore.

"Jones doesn't know where the heart is, does he?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh good. MATES!" Inwë roared, "I have a plan!" Her friends appeared from various places and eyed her curiously.

"And what's the benefit for us?" Shaedan demanded. Inwë began to stroll up and down the line of her friends.

"Namely? Your lives will be spared. Jones is hot on our trail and the only thing that would keep him from killing us was if we revealed to him the location of his heart." Angry murmurs broke out amongst the crew.

"That's like betraying Jack! If Jones gets his heart back we'll never see the Captain again!" Aki protested loudly. Inwë acknowledged her words with a nod.

"Aye, _if_ Jones gets his heart back he will indeed be more dangerous than before. However, he doesn't know if Beckie has the heart on his person or if he left it in Port Royal. Savvy?" Her answer was a smattering of grumbles.

"I'm having a thought: I'll scurry over to the _Dutchman_, negotiate for the release of ourselves and the ship, and send Jones on his merry way back to civilization."

"We should stand and fight," argued Aki, "People are easy to search when they're dead!"

"Why fight when you can negotiate?" Sakura countered. A quote war ensued, which the authoress has decided to leave out. Eventually it was settled that they would run up a flag of truce and Inwë would scurry over and negotiate, as she had vowed to do if they got into trouble. The Elf was in no way looking forward to boarding the _Flying Dutchman_. Even if she saw Bootstrap, it would probably be when she was locked in the cell next to him. Jones was not known for tolerating authoresses, or for striking bargains with one. So, with heavy hearts and tired minds, the crew finished the day's work and settled down for a meal of potatoes, beef stew, and cornbread. Inwë made a point of sipping introspectively on a mug of grog.

The next morning, at dawn, the _Dutchman_ was almost upon them.

**A/N: Sorry it's so short; the next one shall be longer. Any Final Fantasy VII or Fruits Basket fans out there? Well, you're in for something of a treat. Sort of. **


	8. Dealing with Memories

**A/N: Teehee I am most villainous. The idea for this chapter came from overexposure to Furuba and _Advent Children_, so be warned! We're leaving the realm of the Caribbean and entering the realm of…crossovers! Oh, and this chapter might be a little darker than the other ones so far, but the next one shall have more humor. **

* * *

Inwë glared furiously at the hull of the _Flying Dutchman_. She wished more than anything that she didn't have to go on board that cursed ship and strike a deal with the devil himself. Her only comfort was that her friends were coming with her, for emotional support. She was going to need it.

Norrington and Sirius, having tasted enough of death and Jones' evil in their time, hastily volunteered to hold down the fort while the girls negotiated. Under normal circumstances the authoress would have taunted them into oblivion, but this time she and the others remained silent. Something felt…odd, as if there was some other dark presence besides Jones lurking about. It made everyone uneasy – or at least, _more_ uneasy – and made for a very tense boarding of the _Dutchman_. The Elf took the chance to mentally beat herself up for ever being stupid enough to give her muse that pendant. If she hadn't, she and her friends would be home, safe and sound and probably making up a story about such events as these from the comfort of their computer desks. The cold irony of the realization that, if things were different, they would all be eager to be having such adventures made for a grim expedition.

With terror and curiosity burning in their souls, the six teens stepped onto the deck of the _Flying Dutchman_. A few crewmembers were peering at them from the other side of the boat, but none had drawn swords. Inwë, suddenly bold, straightened from her cowering and looked around.

"We come to speak with Davy Jones! We have a proposition for him," she called. The dull thud of wood on wood answered her, and she flinched. None other than the cruel captain of the _Dutchman_, Jones himself, rounded the corner and stood opposite them. He eyed them with something like disgust or mockery in his expression, but his tone was perfectly polite when he spoke.

"You must be very desperate if you _dare_ seek an audience with me-ah. What is the nature o' this bargain you wish to strike?" he demanded in his cold voice. Inwë shuddered and opened her mouth to answer when she stopped, eyes wide. Her friends too stiffened and stared aghast at the figure that had just walked up next to Jones. He had long silver hair and green cat-like eyes full of darkness, and was dressed in dark grey and black with a dark grey coat. A long samurai sword was sheathed at his side. At the sight of the teens' horrified faces, he smiled very slightly.

"It's not possible!" Shaedan stammered.

"Not _probable_," Aki reminded her in a low voice. Amaya and Inwë were too shocked for words. They just stared at this evil apparition with expressions of mingled terror, disbelief, and fury.

"Is that…_Sephiroth_?" Inwë whispered at length. Amaya didn't answer, but she suddenly looked enraged.

"You murderer!" she snarled at the man, and tried to lunge at him. Aki and Inwë held her back to the best of their ability. Sephiroth made no comment, but the smile faded. Still surprised, Sakura and Shaedan glanced between Jones and the new villain.

"Is he _working_ for you?" Shaedan asked Jones incredulously. Jones frowned sourly.

"No-ah." Inwë let Shaedan take over holding Amaya back and whirled to face Sephiroth.

"What is it that you want? I know Beckett has no knowledge of you, or did not until you appeared, so how came you to be here?" she said in a strained voice. It sounded like she was trying not to growl at him. Sephiroth smiled again faintly.

"I owe my presence here to you, Inwë." The Elf winced as he used her name but chose to ignore it.

"And how do you know that?" she continued airily.

"The dark magic that possesses your authoress powers summoned me here."

"I'm going to kill that vulture," Inwë vowed sullenly. She glared at her newest enemy and crossed her arms.

"What's your purpose in the Caribbean?" Sephiroth's smile broadened, just a little.

"Vengeance."

"Against whom?" Amaya snapped angrily. The creature's gaze shifted and locked on her.

"Against a lot of people. But especially Cloud." Inwë's jaw dropped as it dawned on her that her powers as authoress covered not only _Pirates of the Caribbean_, but also all fiction.

"Let me guess," she murmured at last, "Beckett's agreed to let you kill Cloud – and anyone else you feel like killing – if you'll help him get my powers back from that damned vulture, is that it?" Sephiroth glanced back at her quickly.

"Very good. You're finally catching on." The Elf scowled. She remained silent for several seconds, waiting for a good comeback to strike her fancy, but no inspiration came. Somewhat dejected, but still convinced she could get out of the situation, she turned sharply and glared at Jones.

"May I speak to you? Alone?" she added with a sidelong glance at Sephiroth. Of the two, she was far more comfortable talking to Jones by herself. At least _he_ wasn't known for being the most fearsome villain ever to walk the earth of video games. Jones squinted at her, obviously unsure of her sanity, and then shrugged, shot Sephiroth and the teenagers a look, and beckoned Inwë to follow him.

"Try not to kill anyone," the authoress muttered to her friends as she walked after the captain. Raven snorted.

In the captain's cabin, Inwë sat opposite Jones, an oak desk between them. The flickering light of lanterns hung on the walls lit the room, and a few maps were piled on the table. The windows were hung with black curtains, hindering all view of the outside world. In a way it was rather cozy. When the two adversaries sat down, there was a long and awkward silence as the two surveyed each other.

"I have a deal to make with you, sir," the Elf said after the staring contest. She inwardly winced at the word "sir". She had refrained from calling an enemy "sir" ever since she had accidentally called the Mouth of Sauron that. He made a point of rubbing it in whenever they crossed paths – and blades – on the authoress's role-playing games. Jones didn't seem to notice her discomfort.

"And I know you realize I am not in a position to strike a bargain, aye?" he replied darkly. Inwë grudgingly nodded.

"What I ask is not much. I only wish for my crew, my ship, and myself to continue our journey unmolested by you or your underlings."

"I cannot agree to that-ah."

"Even if I told you the location of your heart?" Jones stared at her bleakly.

"I know who has my heart. He sent me after you." Inwë again nodded, this time with a soft smile.

"Then we share a common enemy. I take it Sephiroth's presence on this vessel was not your idea?" Jones grunted in the affirmative.

"Then am I right to assume you and he do not see eye-to-eye?" Another grunt. Inwë leaned forward eagerly.

"I can get rid of him. I can get rid of Beckett and drive him out of this dimension. Once I receive my authoress powers, I can change things so that Sephiroth is once more where he belongs and Beckett is back in Port Royal." Jones got up and began pacing. He stopped next to the authoress and leaned forward to talk in her ear. His breath stank of stale rum and rotting fish.

"And then what, Elf? You destroy me after you destroy Beckett? At least _he_ wants to keep me alive," he hissed with a mirthless chuckle. The Elf shrugged.

"I like to mess with canon characters as little as possible before the completion of their series or trilogy. Beckett is the exception, but you are not. If you let us go I promise I won't harm or kill you in any of my future fictions until after _Pirates of the Caribbean 3_ comes out. After that you may be dead anyways, but in that case you'll have to take it up with Jerry Bruckheimer." The captain stepped back and paced again, taking out his pipe and puffing on it absently as he thought it over. The Elf hardly dared breathe. After a moment he sat down again.

"There is still the problem of Sephiroth. He reports to Beckett, for the time being. Will you strike a bargain with him as well?" Inwë stiffened, her expression cold and rigid.

"I don't make deals with murderers like him." Jones snorted and blew a smoke ring into the air.

"There may come a time when you are forced to-ah."


	9. The Continent

**A/N: Ok, so last chapter I was supposed to include Furuba. I was going to have Akito accompany Sephiroth and also be working for Beckie, but I changed my mind at the last second because Akito isn't technically a villain (I think he is! Poor Hatori!) Not to worry, Furuba will get in here soon enough, along with Kuraudo-san (Cloud). **

Inwë stalked out of Jones' cabin feeling only slightly comforted. The captain had agreed not to attack them, but he could give no guarantees about Beckett not finding out about it. Sephiroth's sudden appearance had made everything more complicated. The Elf shot said villain a look as she passed him and went to stand with her friends. Amaya was no longer looking murderous, though she was paler than usual. Jones limped on deck shortly afterwards.

"You may go-ah. For now we have more important matters to attend to, so be on your way," he growled. Sephiroth turned his head slightly to glance at the captain, who scowled and busied himself with ordering the anchor to be raised. The authoress and her crew quietly slipped back to their ship. It wasn't until after the _Dutchman's_ sails were far away that they relaxed and began talking about things.

"Sephiroth working for Beckett? How is that possible?" Aki asked no one in particular.

"He's way better than Beckett! He could take the authoress powers himself if he wanted!" Sakura agreed. The color drained from Inwë's face.

"I prefer Beckett having the powers to Sephiroth having them. At least Beckett is mostly sane," Amaya murmured as she stood at the prow and watched the rain clouds roll away as the _Flying Dutchman_ vanished on the horizon. Sirius whined.

"Sephiroth is clever, even if he is a madman. He has no intention of sitting quietly by while Beckett pulls the strings and decides the fates of the realms," Shaedan agreed grimly. Norrington, who was rather overwhelmed by the conversation, steered the ship mutely. Inwë also remained silent, lost in her own thoughts.

"There's one thing I don't understand," Raven said. Everyone jumped.

"What's that?" Inwë asked when she had recovered. Raven stood up and started walked around the group in a large circle, her blue cloak billowing in the wind.

"If the Mouth of Sauron is subconsciously controlling your powers, why would he summon Sephiroth? That just means more competition for him, and you told me once there was nothing he feared more than someone taking his throne. That, and he's never even heard of _Final Fantasy_. How can he subconsciously summon something he's never even heard of?" There were murmurs of agreement. Inwë bit her lip as an idea came to her.

"What if…what if the dark magic itself is consciously controlling my powers? More than one villain uses black magic of that kind. Maybe all the magic is connected, and so it learns about all kinds of villains."

"There aren't any dark magic users in _Final Fantasy VII_," Aki pointed out. Amaya and Inwë exchanged glances.

"Yes there is. The Black Materia, Meteor, which I keep reading about. Sephiroth used it to try to destroy the planet, but Aerith's White Materia, Holy, stopped it," Amaya explained solemnly. A heavy silence descended upon the group.

"But…but Meteor was destroyed. The black magic shouldn't be connected to Sephiroth anymore," Sakura argued desperately.

"Energy can be neither created nor destroyed," Raven said quietly, "The magic is still there, but it cannot be used. It must have been what summoned him here."

"What can we do to get rid of him?" Norrington inquired. Inwë sighed deeply.

"Not much. If we get my powers back I should be able to banish him back to the Void, but until then…we may have more problems than we bargained for." The Commodore looked alarmed at this notion.

"Like what? Unlucky coincidences?"

"We don't believe in coincidences," Raven and Inwë responded simultaneously. Aki and Shaedan stifled laughs. Amaya sighed, bowing her head in thought. Suddenly, she snatched up the telescope Norrington had left lying on a barrel. She looked through it for several moments before a grin lit up her face.

"LAND HO!" she yelled enthusiastically. Aki and Inwë fell off the barrels they were sitting on and landed in a heap on the deck. Dazed, they sat up and glared at the eldest ranger-gypsy-pirate.

"Don't DO that!" Aki snapped as she pulled herself to her feet, using Inwë's shoulder to push herself up. The Elf got up and waltzed after her friends, who were huddling next to Amaya and taking turns with the telescope. Sure enough, a land mass was emerging in the horizon. It was far too large to be an island.

"Camelot!" Shaedan exclaimed with awestruck reverence.

"Camelot!" Aki repeated with a grin and a fan girl shriek (not to be confused with a Nazgûl shriek). Sakura crossed her arms sullenly.

"It's only a model." Inwë shushed her and rubbed her hands together joyfully.

"Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Onward…to Camelot!" The five friends began on a lively jig.

"We're Knights of the Round Table!" Amaya sang. They all paused.

"Are we? I thought we were ranger-gypsy-pirates that answer only to God and whomever we feel loyal to," Aki pointed out sadly.

"I dunno the lyrics for that song, and we don't have a cat to step on or guys with helmets to hit," Shaedan agreed. Norrington, Raven, and Sirius stared at each other uneasily.

"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place," Inwë said musingly. The crew all answered "Aye" in varying degrees of dejectedness. Norrington coughed loudly.

"I don't think this is Camelot, and wouldn't you all prefer to be on land once Beckett finds out we're here and sends Jones after us?" he asked loudly. The girls paled.

"Right. All hands to the boats!" Inwë commanded swiftly. She paused and glanced at the Commodore, "Apologies. You give the orders." She bowed out of the way and went back to stand with her friends. Norrington sizzled slightly. If he ever got his hands on Jack Sparrow – sorry, _Captain_ Jack Sparrow – he was going to hang him just for having so many accursed quotable lines. He soon realized he was supposed to be giving out orders. The crew stared at him expectantly and waited for him to speak.

"All right. We have to get to shore by nightfall, which is perhaps six or seven hours away. We also should not spend the night on the beach in case there are unfriendly inhabitants on the continent. Therefore, we are going to have to work hard to get to land and still have time to cover lots of ground."

"Aye, aye, sir!" the group chorused. Norrington smiled to himself. It had been a long time since he had an obedient gang of sailors to command.

"The ship is going as fast as the wind permits. We will reach land in four hours. In the meantime, I want you all to gather as many supplies as you can carry and put them in your packs. Do not bother with water or anything that will spoil in the heat. Now get to it!" There was a commotion as the teenagers pelted down to their hammocks to secure their most valuable items: pens, notebooks (one of which doubled as ship's log), Furuba, and their respective costumes. Aki grudgingly left the katana in a corner, lamenting that she had no sheath to carry it in or anything to sharpen it with. The stores were easy enough to organize, as most of it was salted pork and potatoes. Shaedan insisted on bringing several pots slung over her shoulder. She looked a lot like a tall, skinny Samwise. Fully packed and excited to explore new lands, the group waited restlessly on deck as the ship inched closer to the continent. That sparked a conversation about what they would call it. An argument broke out, and it was finally agreed that whoever set foot on the beach first would name it. They all sulked tensely as Norrington went around tallying supplies and making a note of it in the ship's log, which Aki and Inwë had loaned him for the task.

After what felt like an eternity, the group was rowing towards the shore with light hearts. Despite all the obvious setbacks of leaving behind their first and probably only ship, the teenagers were especially excited. All their short and relatively random lives they had dreamed of wandering the wilderness as rangers. Now they could finally do so.

"Hey! There's someone on the beach!" Aki shouted, shattering Inwë's line of thought. Startled and more than a little scared, the authoress whipped her head around. Sure enough, a dark figure was just visible against the white sand.

"Amaya, hand me the telescope," Shaedan asked. Her sister shook her head.

"No need. I spotted him a while ago while you three were still moaning over leaving the ship. He's a friend," she replied casually. Burning with curiosity, the others squinted at the man and rowed even faster. They were not the types to wait patiently while a mystery was at hand. Inwë did her best not to glance constantly over her shoulder to see if she could get a better look at the stranger. She felt odd, like she ought to know who was waiting for them.

"Say, this means that this guy will get to name the continent," Aki whined.

"Don't worry about it," Amaya sighed in a slightly bored tone, "I don't think he'll object to letting one of you name it." That led to some last minute haggling in which Sakura was completely excluded because she was in the other boat with Raven, Norrington, and Sirius. After a while the girls were too hyper to argue any more.

"Amaya-san…this guy waiting for us…is he someone we know?" Shaedan inquired slyly. Amaya grinned but didn't say anything. Inwë tapped her foot impatiently against the side of the boat.

"Amaya-san, you are decidedly annoying at times," the Elf growled. The other teen shrugged loftily.

"Once upon a time…you were too," she murmured. Something clicked in the authoress' mind and her eyes widened briefly. She had no time to question her friend further, or to relay her theories to the others, because just then they pulled up to the beach. Dragging the boat as far onto the sand as they could, the girls stopped and sat down on the ground panting. Inwë looked around expectantly for the mysterious man who was waiting for them. Her friends did the same, even Amaya. They all stopped short when they finally spotteded him. Sitting quietly in the sun, his sword by his side, sat a young man with spiky flaxen hair and blue-green eyes. He dressed all in black, with Doc Martins and cargo pants and a one-sleeved long black coat. At Inwë's surprised and delighted cry, he looked up with the ghost of a smile. Aki, Shaedan, Amaya, Inwë, Sakura, and Raven all bowed.

"Kuraudo-san. I did not expect to see you here," Inwë said respectfully when she straightened up. Norrington and Sirius both looked confused.

"Elf, who is your friend?" the Commodore asked nervously. Smiling, the authoress glanced at him.

"My friend? His name is Cloud Strife. And I have _no_ _idea_ what he's doing here," she added, turning to Cloud with a questioning look, "Well?"

"We came to help," said a new voice. The teens whirled and Inwë let out a fan girl squeal. Another man, this one with dark shaggy hair, was eyeing them from the tree line.

"HATORI-SAN!" Shaedan, Aki, and Inwë screamed, starting to run towards him. They paused uncertainly after a few feet.

"We can't tackle him! He'll change!" Aki whimpered. Inwë made a whining noise.

"But we're _right next_ to the ocean! If he changes we can just chuck him in, can't we?" Scandalized looks from her mates told her that wasn't an option.

"Right…ok, I'll settle for an explanation. Unless there are more people with you that we don't known about?" Hatori and Cloud exchanged glances. Cloud looked about to speak when there was an angry yell and two teenage boys, one red-headed and one with silver hair, burst out of the trees. The redhead took a swing at the silver haired boy, who dodged easily.

"Really, your feeble attacks are getting to be annoying," the silver haired teen remarked with a sigh as he dodged again. The redhead was looking murderous.

"I'm going to beat you this time, you damn rat!" he snapped in reply. They stopped fighting when they saw the assembled group.

"Oh…hello," the redhead said awkwardly.

"KYO-SAN! YUKI-SAN!" the teenagers (minus Raven) chorused with renewed fan girl squeals. Kyo, the redhead, backed up a pace, and Yuki paled.

"Hey, pretty-boy, it looks like your fan club followed us here," Kyo taunted. Shaedan and Aki glowered at him.

"We are fans of Furuba, not Yuki-san!" Aki snarled venomously. Norrington and Hatori were both laughing quietly. Cloud just rolled his eyes and got up.

"Yuki, where's Vincent? He should have been back by now," the warrior commented musingly. Amaya's face lit up.

"Vincent? Vincent's here?" she all but chattered. The sudden arrival of so many anime and manga characters made for a hyper atmosphere. Cloud nodded.

"It's about time. Sephiroth could be here within an hour," another voice, this one low, murmured from the shadows. A man with pale skin, dark hair like Hatori's, and a blood red cloak stepped forward. The girls repeated their act of bowing respectfully.

"This is all of you, then?" Inwë asked hopefully. She was overwhelmed as it was and didn't want any more surprise entrances.

"No," Cloud replied softly, "Reno and Rude got here a few days before us. They've been scouting around the continent, looking for Sephiroth. We'll probably run into them before long." The warrior's eyes held a wistful look. Inwë suspected that he wanted to be out hunting Sephiroth too, and she could hardly blame him. Cloud's life had been all but destroyed because of Sephiroth's madness.

"We can't stand around talking," Vincent muttered, arms crossed. He looked a bit annoyed. Norrington immediately started handing people their bags. The girls were now mostly recovered from the worst of the hyperness – though it was unlikely that they'd stop grinning for another few hours – and were sane enough to put on their backpacks with minimal giggling. Yuki and Kyo were enlisted to drag the boats into the forest. Hatori and Norrington, in the meantime, struck up a lively conversation. They seemed glad to have found another sane human in the circus that was fan fiction.

**A/N: Wow that was a long chapter! I kept telling myself "Stop writing now, it's way too long!" but my muse got the better of me. I couldn't find a good place to stop anyway. **


	10. Waking Up Early Isn't Fun

**A/N: Well, now things get interesting. We have Fruits Basket characters and FFVII characters together at one time, with five rabid FFVII and Fruits Basket fans tagging along, one confused British Naval officer, one undead shapeshifter, and one half-demon with tendencies to sink into angst. Did I mention we have a psychopath running around who works for the midget with a wig, but who really intends to take over all of FanFictiondom and kill everyone he doesn't like (which is most people)? Ah well, such is the life of an Elf. **

The first mile and a half of the hike through the dense jungles of Yet-to-be-named-Sylvania was quite enjoyable. The rangers giggled and sang random pirate songs, talked about story plots, and quoted _Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children_ with reckless disregard for the characters present. Cloud winced more than once when Shaedan did a particularly impressive Kadaj imitation. Yuki just about jumped out of his skin when Inwë referred to Shaedan as "Ayame-chan", and Norrington grumbled under his breath when Aki monologued the first half of the _Curse of the Black Pearl_ script. All in all, the characters were relieved when it came time to camp for the night. It wasn't the rest that they appreciated – it was the fact that they could enforce a curfew and a lights-out-no-talking-under-any-circumstances rule after said curfew.

The next morning, Cloud and Vincent woke everyone up at dawn. The rangers were all usually late sleepers and did not appreciate being nudged in the ribs with the pummel of Cloud's sword. Inwë, easily the worst ever morning person, let out such a string of curses when Cloud jabbed her too hard that her friends ceased all communication with her for five whole minutes (the equivalent of a month of solitary confinement, as far as the talkative friends were concerned). Humbled, but in no way forsworn to cussing, the Elf staggered around to grab her things. It felt odd to be once more dressed in street clothes rather than her beloved pirate costume. She and her friends insisted on wearing their cloaks, despite what Vincent muttered about making too much noise in the thick underbrush. That raised the question of why they were walking.

"Why can't we ride horses?" Inwë protested loudly, rubbing her blistered feet before trading her riding boots for sneakers. Cloud was being antisocial and had long since scouted ahead, leaving Vincent, Hatori, and Norrington to manage the pack of unruly youth. At the authoress' question, Hatori gave her a long, slow look.

"Because," he replied, his voice soft but a little condescending, "You lost your powers. If you hadn't lost your powers, you could summon eight well-behaved horses to carry us to our destination."

"If you hadn't lost your powers we wouldn't _need_ horses to carry us to our destination because we wouldn't be out here looking for them," murmured Vincent. He gave the Elf a disapproving look. Bristling, she glared at him. Her friends glanced at each other, sensing an argument. However, Inwë seemed to have lost the power of making up good comebacks; or perhaps she simply couldn't bring herself to insult one of her favorite characters. As aloof as ever, she grabbed her pack and started off on the path, only to pause after a moment to wait expectantly for her friends.

"This could get interesting," Amaya muttered to Shaedan as they followed. Hatori and Norrington sighed deeply.

After only a few minutes, the crew was at it again. Inwë, Aki, and Shaedan were secretly discussing why Tifa wasn't there.

"I like this not, Aki-san. It troubles me that we have heard nothing of her," Inwë admitted darkly. Shaedan shook her head.

"But if Tifa is dead, why isn't Cloud being angsty?" she asked a little loudly. Her friends shushed her and shot cautious look at Vincent. He appeared to have not noticed them.

"I thought Cloud was always angsty," Aki said with a wry smile. Inwë snorted softly.

"I think not. He's just serious and quiet," she replied.

"And has authority issues!" Shaedan added. They fell to arguing over whether Cloud really had authority issues or if he just didn't do so well in the army. After all, a good-guy such as Cloud was bound to do poorly in an evil army like Shin-Ra's had been. Several minutes of this led back to the original conversation.

"We should ask Vincent if Tifa is alive or not!" Aki whispered as the three paused in their talking. Both Inwë and Shaedan paled. Well, paled _more_. Vincent was a good-guy, but he was a bit intimidating.

"I say Suzume-chan asks him!" Shaedan voted, nudging Inwë towards the undead. Panicking, she shook her head wildly and planted her feet firmly on the ground.

"No way! Amaya can ask him, he's her favorite character!" she protested in as low a voice as she could. It was too late. Vincent paused and turned to watch them all.

"Come on. We have a lot of ground to cover," he muttered. His cold eyes briefly locked on Inwë's. The Elf shivered.

"Hey Vincent, is Tifa still alive?" Inwë asked very quickly. Vincent blinked.

"Why wouldn't she be?" he inquired calmly.

"_I_ dunno, it's just that she isn't here and I expected that since _you're_ all here that Tifa would be too," the authoress stammered, turning a delicate shade of pink. Vincent didn't laugh.

"When Cloud heard Sephiroth was here…well, you know how Cloud is," he answered ambiguously. Shaedan's eyes widened.

"I get it now! He told her to stay behind because he doesn't want her getting hurt!" she exclaimed. Vincent made a noncommittal noise in his throat and kept walking.

"He has a point. Cloud runs through girlfriends too quickly for him to let them get into too much danger. Look what tends to happen to them: one gutted, one beaten to a pulp," the disembodied Voice of Reason suddenly agreed from overhead. The teens' jaws dropped.

"You're horrible!" Aki cried. Inwë was readily contemplating murder.

"How can you talk about Aerith and Tifa like that? You insensitive fiend!" Shaedan snarled, indignant. Amaya had her arms folded and appeared to be sulking out of anger. The adults seemed to be ignoring the Voice, though they were all usually pretty quiet so it was hard to tell. Kyo and Yuki, who had been lingering at the back of the group to try to escape from the crazed fan girls, were scowling at no one in particular.

"What?" the Voice said in a flustered tone, "It's true! Everyone who gets too close to that guy ends up dead or severely injured."

"_You'll_ end up dead or severely injured if you keep talking!" Inwë growled. The Voice scoffed.

"I'm not afraid of you anymore, Elf! Once Sephiroth and Beckett get your powers, which they will, I'm going to apply for a job as an advisor to whomever they decide gets to rule Mordor," it sniffed proudly.

"If you're so sure of our defeat, why are you still hanging around? It's not like you're _useful_," Amaya commented dryly.

"Because Aerith told me – I mean, ummm…oops." It was too late for the Voice to take it back. The group stopped. Inwë and her friends glanced at each other.

"Aerith? Aerith sent you?" Sakura wondered aloud. Amaya was nodding.

"That explains what Vincent and Cloud and those guys are doing here," she mused. Vincent and Hatori exchanged significant looks. Inwë was wearing a thoughtful expression.

"Ah, so it was she. I didn't think the dark magic could have summoned Cloud here even if it wanted to…but Aerith, she could have. But how did she gain control of my powers?" Inwë added, shooting the sky a look. The Voice was silent.

"Voice? Voice of Reason?" Aki called. There was no answer. The girls whirled and glared suspiciously at Vincent and Hatori. Both the men avoided their combined gazes.

"Well? How did Aerith gain control of my powers?" Inwë snapped. Vincent gave her another of his hollow stares.

"You are not the only one who has powers," he said in a low voice. The Elf snorted loftily. Before she or anyone else could say more, Cloud appeared on the path ahead. The teens glanced at each other, silently agreeing not to mention Aerith or Tifa while Cloud was there.

"Did you find anything?" Hatori asked as the blonde-haired young man joined the group.

"Nothing," he replied, taking a drink from the canteen Norrington handed him, "There's a range of hills about three miles from here, but nothing else unusual."

"If we could get to the top of those hills we could get a good view of the surrounding area," Norrington pointed out helpfully.

"Mmm," Cloud agreed with a slight nod, though he looked a bit uncertain. The teens sighed.

"Stupid mountains. Hey, pretty-boy, I bet I can get to the top before you!" Kyo said suddenly, grinning wickedly at his rival. Yuki sighed and coughed. The fan girls gave each other sidelong glances. Hatori must have noticed because he walked over.

"Yuki-san, Kyo-san, I don't want either of you pushing yourselves too hard. Yuki doesn't need to have another attack, and at that elevation he can't afford to get sick," he said wisely.

"Hatori's right, we don't need any reckless competitions on this climb," Vincent added grimly. Cloud gazed thoughtfully at the hills.

"If we get moving we can reach the base of the hills by dark. Tomorrow we can start climbing," he commented softly. He, Vincent, Hatori, and Norrington proceeded to discuss how best to get to the top, what supplies they needed, and where to get them. When they had finished, they began giving out orders, which annoyed Inwë to no end. Norrington and the others were all good leaders, but the authoress was terribly used to _not_ being told what to do. She hadn't become a pirate on mere whim, after all.

Later that evening, they made camp for the second time and ate their fruit and fish in silence (the potatoes and salted pork were being carefully preserved for the trip into the foothills). Despite the less-than-delicious food, the teenage rangers managed to strike up lively conversations about everything they had seen on the continent. The debate began over what to called the new country.

"I say we call it Galendor!" Aki suggested brightly. The others nodded in approval.

"Aye, except you forgot one thing…we already have a 'Green Land' in the real world. It's too confusing," Shaedan pointed out. Inwë and Amaya sighed.

"Ok, how about Cuivië? Since it seems to be a new country and all?" Sakura asked as she skimmed through Inwë's Elvish notes.

"Who says it needs to be in Elvish? There are so many other languages…like _Japanese_!" Amaya hinted loudly. The teenagers adopted wistful grins.

"But we're not _in_ Japan. It has to be a name that no other country can say is from their language," Shaedan sighed sadly.

"Then it can't be in Elvish. Rivendell and Lorien are real here. Something else, ok?" Amaya grumbled.

"Well then it can't be in English either! There aren't any other languages that we speak that aren't associated with some country or another, savvy?" Inwë growled argumentatively.

"How about a mix? Japanese, Elvish, and English all in one?" Sakura said. The others laughed. Sakura scowled.

"I was being _serious_," she muttered. Aki and Inwë fell off of the log they had been sitting on and dissolved into fits of giggles. The adults glowered at them, each silently regretting ever coming within a mile of the insane fan girls. Even Hatori and Cloud, who were both generally tolerant of children (and teenagers) and were used to them, seemed vexed.

"You _might_ want to quiet down, we heard you laughin' about three miles away," commented a voice from overhead. At first the girls thought it was the Voice of Reason, but the tone didn't fit. They looked around wildly. Amaya let out a squeak of alarm and pointed. A young man with spiky red hair that was tied in a ponytail in the back was eyeing them from a tree branch above their heads.

"RENO!" the rangers chorused happily. Reno ignored them and looked pointedly at Cloud.

"Are they as crazy as they look?" he asked Cloud, who nodded. Reno sighed and climbed down from his perch with a dejected air about him.

"You know, I hoped they'd of been killed off by now," he confided, loudly, to the adults. The random teenagers glared at him to the best of their ability.

"Where's Rude?" Cloud asked none too casually. The Turk shrugged nonchalantly.

"Dunno. Said he'd meet up with us in a couple days. _I_ think he's out lookin' for Tifa," he replied. Judging from Cloud's expression, he hadn't known Tifa was in the realm.

"Tifa…you mean…I told her to stay with the kids!" he muttered angrily.

"Ah, you know Tifa. If something's up, she's gotta be in on it," Reno sighed. While the men were thus distracted, Aki, Shaedan, and Inwë took the chance to do a mini victory dance. Finally, all of their favorites were there, minus their beloved _Lord of the Rings_ characters. Things were finally looking up. However, they did manage to forget just how perilous their position was.

**A/N: DUM DUM DUM! Muhahaha sorry, I'm having fun with my twisty-plot that's coming up in a while. Kidnap. Swordfights. Peril. GRAVE PERIL! Only proceed if you be men (and women) of valor, for there is danger and plot twists a-plenty. Oh, and I'd like to thank my two readers, Captain MeraSparrow and Authoressinhiding, for sticking with me thus far. You are appreciated. Like I keep saying, this story is just for laughs on my part, and hopefully on yours. **


	11. By the Powers

**A/N: Cap'n, AiH, anyone else still reading…I apologize for the long wait! Gomennasai! **

* * *

It must have been about midnight when Inwë woke up. Stars shone brightly overhead and there was a warm breeze whispering through the trees. The authoress remained curled up, her cloak wrapped around her like a blanket, and blinked sleepily as she tried to remember what had woken her. The wind ruffled her hair and a few strands tickled her cheek, waking her up more. She brushed her unruly hair out of her face and sat up slowly. Amaya was snoozing peacefully on a bedroll next to her. Aki, who was bunked on Inwë's other side, muttered something in her sleep and rolled over. Everything seemed quiet. No, that wasn't right…there were low murmurs coming from by the campfire. The authoress peered at the shadowy figures gathered around the fire. She could just make out Cloud's silhouette – his spiky hair made him easy to spot – sitting with his back to her on one side of the fire. Another person sat next to him, and voices could be heard. Inwë decided to creep closer and hear what was being said. She quietly slipped as near to the fire as she dared. Sure enough, Vincent, Sirius, Hatori, Norrington, Cloud, Reno, Rude, and Tifa were all seated in a ring around the flames. Inwë covered her mouth with one hand to prevent a squeal of delight from escaping her. Rude was relating some sort of event to the others. Even in the pitch-black night, he was still wearing his sunglasses.

"We saw them when we were trying to catch up to you. Beckett, Sephiroth, and a third man I didn't recognize, all headed this way. Beckett brought a dozen soldiers with him. Sephiroth is alone," he reported in his manner-of-fact voice. Tifa nodded grimly to confirm what the Turk said. Vincent stood up and started pacing.

"This third man…what did he look like?" he asked Rude and Tifa in a low voice. When Rude didn't say anything, Tifa began to speak.

"I didn't get a good look at him. He wears some sort of helmet...and he sounded kind of strange. He has an odd accent. I think he might be a mage or something like that." Norrington sighed deeply.

"What is your plan of action?" he inquired of the others. Cloud stared moodily into the fire.

"Tifa. I want you and the Turks to go home," he stated simply. Tifa let out a furious gasp.

"What? And let you fight Sephiroth alone? No way!"

"Yeah, and who put you in charge?" Reno added angrily, "Rude and I ain't goin' anywhere with that freak Sephiroth on the loose." Cloud and Reno started arguing.

"Fighting with each other isn't going to help!" Tifa growled.

"Tifa's right," Hatori agreed solemnly, "We need to figure out a plan quickly. I for one say we should send the kids home. This is getting to be too dangerous."

"What about Inwë?" Norrington asked.

"It was her powers that were stolen," Rude pointed out. Inwë chewed on her fingernails nervously as she listened from behind a tree. She frowned slightly as she noticed Sirius was no longer in the group. Where was he? A low growl from behind her answered. In a second Inwë found herself on the ground in front of the adults. They all stared at her as Sirius trotted back to his seat.

"Konbanwa," Inwë muttered. Vincent grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet.

"Well, now I suppose all chance of the teens being tricked into leaving the dimension is long gone," he commented dryly. Inwë grinned at him.

"Yep, sorry guys. I'm not going anywhere. Though Hatori," she added, "You might want to send Yuki home. I could hear him coughing in his sleep all the way on the other side of the camp." Hatori nodded sadly.

"I'm sending Kyo and Yuki home in the morning. I'm responsible for their well-being and I can't justify letting them stay here. I think you and your friends should at least think about joining them," he replied. Inwë scratched the back of her head. He did have a point – her friends at least should not have been involved in this. The authoress was going to see the adventure through to the end if it killed her, but she couldn't asked her friends to do the same.

"I'll talk to them," she agreed after a minute. Just then there was rustling in the bushes. Cloud instinctively grabbed his sword, Vincent pulled out his gun, and Reno snatched up his fight stick. A moment later Raven stepped out of the trees.

"Sirius and I are leaving first thing in the morning," she announced bluntly. Inwë's jaw dropped.

"But…but…but…!" she stammered.

"I'm sorry, Inwë, but things are just too dangerous. If Beckett and the others get your powers first, everything will be destroyed. If Sirius and I go now we might have a chance elsewhere. Right now we're obsolete."

"What…do you mean?" Inwë asked carefully. Raven smiled at her sadly.

"I mean that even if Beckett gets your powers, there's only so much damage he can do before Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney decide to sue him. But Sirius and I? No one cares. Sirius is supposed to be dead, and you know as well as I that my producers care nothing for me," she ended bitterly. Inwë's lower lip trembled and she hugged her friend. The half-demon looked rather shocked before she pushed the authoress away. Sirius walked over and gave Inwë a broad grin by way of comfort. It didn't help much.

"It's settled. Inwë, go wake your friends and decide what you're going to do. Remind them that I think you should all leave and let the adults handle this," Cloud ordered her shortly. The Elf glared at him and stalked off to talk to her friends. Once Inwë had related the various bits of information, they were all adamant. They were staying.

The group tried to get a few more precious hours of sleep before dawn arrived. Inwë had almost constant nightmares that kept waking her up, so she didn't take it well when Cloud poked her with his sword again. Luckily for him, the authoress was far too miserable to risk damaging her relationship with her friends again; otherwise the swordsman would have been chewed out a second time. The assembly groggily put together some sort of breakfast before getting ready to scale the hills. After an hour, they were ready to go. With heavy hearts they bid four of their companions good-bye. Inwë and Amaya lingered on the path while the others started climbing, watching as Raven and the other three vanished into the gloom of the forest.

"What happens if they run into Sephiroth?" Amaya wondered aloud. Inwë shook her head.

"Raven can teleport, but…"

"But you and I both know that Sephiroth is out of everyone's league."

"Yeah. That." The two teens sighed deeply and started to climb the hill.

After two hours of steady climbing, Cloud and the others decided they needed a break. The teenagers collapsed in an exhausted heap and gladly accepted the water canteens Reno handed out. The Turk smiled at them and sat down on a rock a few yards away.

"Hey, Val," he said after the girls had finished sucking down water, "Who do _you_ think this third guy is?" Inwë glanced up and gave him a furious look.

"Reno. Do not call me 'Val'. It's degrading."

"What?" Reno protested, "You're a Vala, ain't ya?"

"Heh. In my head."

"Didn't Cloud over there say somethin' like that?" Inwë's friends all snickered as she tried to decide how best to answer that.

"Maybe. But that's not the point," she added quickly, "My point is, please don't use a stupid nickname form of 'Vala' when talking to me. Only the Mouth of Sauron –." The authoress broke off suddenly as she realized something. Her friends immediately noticed the change and eyed her nervously.

"Suzume-san? What's the matter?" Amaya asked her. The Elf shook her head slowly.

"I just…I don't know. The third man, didn't Tifa say he wore a kind of helmet and spoke with a weird accent?"

"Yeah," Reno agreed. He tipped his head slightly to one side and stared at Inwë curiously.

"Oh no!" Aki suddenly exclaimed, "Please don't tell me the Mouth of Sauron is grouping up with Beckie and Sephiroth!" Everyone was silent for a few moments. Just then, a flock of birds flew up from the trees only about a mile from where their campsite had been. Reno almost fell off the rock he was sitting on.

"Damn. They're getting' close!" he growled. Vincent shot Cloud a look, and the swordsman nodded.

"Ok, let's go. We'll have to hurry if we want to reach the top of the hill be nightfall."

"Actually," said the Voice of Reason from overhead, "If the hilltop is your goal, you're better off just staying where you are. You'll never find the authoress' powers from up there." Inwë instinctively reached for a sword that didn't exist. She sighed and pouted, watching as Cloud, Vincent, the Turks, and Norrington all got ready for some sort of fight.

"Voice!" Inwë called angrily, "I swear if you weren't somehow working for Aerith, I'd kill you right here and now!" Cloud turned his head sharply to stare at the authoress. Oh, so he _hadn't_ known about it after all. Amaya and the others eyed their friend suspiciously.

"Hmm. And how would you do that, o-weaponless-one?" the Voice snapped airily. Inwë stood up and shook her fist at the sky.

"I would rip your sorry carcass out of whatever alternate dimension you're hiding in and thrash you soundly, that's how!" she yelled. She felt a hand on her shoulder and was surprised to see Vincent standing next to her. As usual, he did not look amused. Well, maybe just a little, but only because Inwë was funny when she ranted.

"Why shouldn't we go to the summit? Did you set some kind of trap for us?" the undead Turk growled at the Voice. The Voice let out a low whimper.

"No, no I didn't set any trap! But just think about it! You're looking for a pendant, a necklace, in the middle of a jungle. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. That, and the vulture already returned to the Mouth's service. It dropped the pendant somewhere on the way. It could be literally _anywhere_." The group sighed deeply. This mission was starting to look hopeless.

"What do you suggest?" Hatori inquired. The Voice pondered for a minute before answering.

"I say you should all surrender, beg for mercy, and pray Lord Beckett and Sephiroth only decides to kill a few of you," it replied in a dead serious voice. Inwë let out a low growl of rage and tried to lunge at – well, at nothing in particular. Vincent kept a firm grip on her shoulder and prevented her from going anywhere.

"It has a point."

"No it bloody doesn't!" Aki and Shaedan snarled in unison. Inwë grinned proudly at her friends.

"Sorry, Vincent, this time my friends are right. Beckett wants us _all_ dead. He has no use for any of us." Vincent shrugged and released his hold on the authoress' shoulder.

"Ok, so aside from giving up, do you have any _good_ ideas?" Reno wondered, staring at the sky. The Voice snorted.

"Well…Inwë should be able to locate her own powers from anywhere. They're a part of her, just as every author or authoress has powers that are a part of them. Being without powers is like being without a muse."

"Idiot, I _am_ without a muse. It'll be a miracle if I haven't lost all my writing abilities," Inwë muttered. The Voice ignored her.

"How can Inwë locate her powers?" Cloud asked politely enough. The Voice coughed slightly.

"Well…I think all she has to do is concentrate on thinking about the pendant. I'm really not sure. No authoress has ever _lost_ her powers before! We Voices are only taught so much before we're assigned positions." Inwë moaned.

"Are you saying I was _assigned_ this pompous windbag? It never gave me any good advice anyways!" The Voice let out a gasp.

"How _dare_ you? I am the one who prevented your characters from becoming Sues!"

"This sounds too much like a Sue story as it is. Some help you've been."

"More help than you've been. Without me you never would have arrived here in the first place."

"Without your help maybe we wouldn't _need_ to be here! You sent the damn vulture. _The_ _Mouth of Sauron's_ damn vulture, too," Inwë added with a furious glance at the base of the hill. Reno shook his head and glanced at Rude, whose expression was next to impossible to read.

"If that's all you've got to say, how 'bout if Inwë starts concentrating on findin' her pendant?" Reno snapped. The authoress gave him an angry glare and sat down again. She took several deep, calming breaths and closed her eyes. She pictured the pendant. It was silver and in the shape of a crescent moon, overall a very plain trinket. She remembered how the light had reflected off of it, how the elegant silver chain had felt in her hand, how delicate it had seemed. She remembered rummaging through her old jewelry box, looking for something to give her muse. Most of the pieces in the box were just junk…except for the one necklace. For some reason her fingers had brushed against it, and she knew at once that that pendant would get her muse out of her dark corner.

Aki suddenly gasped. Reno let out a low, surprised whistle. Inwë slowly opened her eyes and looked around. Over on the other side of the hill, in the forest, a bright white gleam could be seen. It looked like a huge diamond reflecting the light. The authoress stood up and sighed in wonder.

"There you are."

* * *

**A/N: I dedicate this chapter to Authoressinhiding, who pestered me to update, and Captain MeraSparrow, who actually reads this stuff and retains what's left of her sanity XD. **


	12. Surprise! Or Not

**A/N: Teehee listening to One-Winged Angel while I write this. Dunno how it'll affect my muse (or lack thereof), so be warned. **

Inwë smiled grimly at her powers glimmering down on the other side of the hill. It was at least another day's hike, maybe two, but it was there. Cloud and the others were huddled together, discussing how to reach the powers quickly and with minimal hassle. Meanwhile, Amaya had her spyglass out and was watching the progress of the enemy group. Thanks to her they had confirmed the Mouth of Sauron's presence as well as the number of troops accompanying Beckett. The coward didn't seem comfortable traveling with any less than twenty soldiers; that, or he obviously didn't trust Sephiroth or the Mouth, which showed more common sense than Inwë wanted to give him credit for.

"Suzume-san! Come and have a look at this!" Amaya called from her station on a ledge. Inwë pulled herself out of her thoughts and jogged over to her friend.

"What's up?" she asked with a nervous glance at the base of the hill. Her friend handed her the telescope and pointed. Squinting, the authoress peered down at their enemies. She could just make out Sephiroth, Beckett, and the Mouth. They were having some sort of argument – or rather, Beckett was arguing with both the Mouth and Sephiroth, who seemed to be listening calmly to his ranting.

"What do you think the problem is?" Amaya inquired slyly. Inwë smiled slightly.

"Knowing these guys? Could be anything. I think Beckett is losing control of the situation and sees Sephiroth and the Mouth as threats."

"That should be good for us, right?"

"Maybe not. Beckett, the little weasel, usually seems to keep his cool when he's scared. If he's this flustered, either he's in a real rage or he's scared stiff of something. I don't care for the situation. Any attempt to storm the caves could turn into an ambush," Inwë quoted abruptly. Amaya just shook her head and sighed. Norrington, upon hearing his own words spoken by a partially insane teenage girl, turned around sharply and glared in her general direction. It was the first time in a few days that she had directly quoted anyone from _Pirates of the Caribbean_. The Commodore had been hoping her exposure to the _Final Fantasy VII_ characters had finally snapped her out of her _Pirates_ obsession. Apparently he had been wrong.

"All right, everyone," Cloud said loudly. The teenagers scrambled to get in a group so they could hear what the "adults" had to say.

"Normally," Tifa explained, "We could probably just trek down to the bottom of the hills, but since we have company, we have to be more cautious. We don't know if Sephiroth and the others have seen Inwë's powers yet, or even if they know we're here. We have to hurry if we want to beat them to the powers. That means we travel all day, take breaks every hour or so, and only stop to make camp and get something to eat. We only stop to make camp when it's too dark to keep going, and we get up as soon as it's light enough to see the path."

"There's a full moon tonight," Aki pointed out. The teens groaned. They did not want to spend the next day or two without sleep. Reno gave them a you-are-so-lucky-I-don't-feel-like-beating-you-for-insubordination look. Sakura stuck out her tongue at him. The Turk made a face behind Cloud's back, which caused Sakura and Aki to dissolve into a fit of giggles. Cloud just stared at them blankly, wondering what was so funny. Tifa shot Reno a dark look and sighed at his immaturity.

"Don't worry," she added loudly so that the teens would pay attention, "We'll stop to rest for at least three hours every night, regardless of the light. I grew up in Nibelheim and worked as a mountain guide. I know how hard it is to keep going without sleep." Amaya and Inwë exchanged glances, both remembering certain past events.

Six and a half grueling hours later, the exhausted group pitched their tents and boiled water for a late dinner – the last of the potatoes and some tough beef jerky. Someone had had the foresight to pack a loaf of bread, so the meal was rescued from being utterly wretched and wound up as just bad. The only thing that could have made it tolerable was something that would have spoiled on the trip – butter. Fortunately there was a spring of clean water nearby, so everyone got something to drink.

"…So Tseng, Elena, and I were just chillin' in the local bar, celebrating my return to active duty," Reno explained. It was after dinner, and he was talking about the time Cloud had accidentally walked into a bar where the three Turks – his enemies at the time – were having a few drinks together.

"And then what happened?" Aki asked, a broad grin on her face. Cloud was sulking on the other side of the fire. He didn't look too happy that Reno had chosen that particular event to retell.

"Well, we were jus' minding our own business when this little runt of a Shinra guard came in. He kept his helmet on the whole time, so we had _no idea_ who it was. I didn' think he was old enough to drink. I was way off. Turns out it was Cloud the whole time. Lucky for him that none of us recognized 'im," he chuckled. Cloud shot him a death glare.

"You were so drunk that it was a wonder you even recognized each other," the swordsman muttered irritably. Reno stared at him indignantly.

"I wasn't drunk!"

"He wasn't," Inwë agreed, "I remember." The Turks, Cloud, Tifa, and Vincent all gave her odd looks. The authoress blushed.

"Oh…I wasn't there…right. Sorry, I forgot." She proceeded to mutter something about remembering not to remember things. Amaya and Shaedan snickered.

"So," Shaedan yawned, "Should we get some sleep now?" Everyone agreed and scrambled to get their bedrolls and blankets out. Rude coughed to get their attention.

"We should have two sentries. We don't want to be surprised by any unwelcome guests," he growled. Inwë tentatively raised her hand.

"I'll stay up!" she volunteered, "I can never sleep at night anyway." Reno pretended to yawn and stretch, looked up at the sky, and sighed.

"I guess I'll stay up too. No real point in goin' to sleep if we're gettin' up again in a couple o' hours," he offered with a slightly grumpy glance at the teenagers. With that settled, Inwë bid her friends goodnight and grabbed her cloak. Nights on the hills were chilly even in summer, and she always got cold very easily. Reno trudged up the path a little ways until he came to a comfortable rock ledge. From there he could see the camp almost perfectly. The only problem was, Inwë had beaten him to it. She blinked slowly at the Turk, realized she had stolen his idea, and grinned evilly.

"This seat's taken, mate." Reno stared at the teenager, unsure of what to say. In a moment he shrugged, climbed up next to her, and sat down a comfortable distance away. The two of them didn't say anything for several minutes, until Inwë shot him a curious look.

"So…Reno."

"Yeah, Val?"

"Are you really the fastest Turk?" Reno gave her an odd look.

"Who told you that? I mean," he added, "Yeah, I'm the fastest Turk."

"And Rude is the strongest."

"Yeah, he likes to think so." Inwë stifled a snort.

"Why are you asking me stupid questions like that?" Reno inquired. The authoress shrugged.

"After being pirates, my friends and I all agree we want to be Turks. I was just curious. I've read a lot about you guys, but most of what I know about you as people is stuff I've gathered from a hundred different sources. I don't even know if most of it is true."

"Like…?"

"For instance," Inwë continued eagerly, "Your markings…are they scars or tattoos?" Reno lifted a hand to his cheekbone and ran a finger over the red mark there.

"Well…" He stopped short and held up a hand for silence. Inwë cocked her head to one side and listened. She could just make out the sound of footsteps. She froze. Were they being ambushed? Reno silently reached for his EMR (electromagnetic rod). The authoress held her breath and wished she had thought to get herself some sort of weapon.

"Run," Reno whispered.

"What?" Inwë hissed. The Turk glared at her.

"You heard me. I said _run_!" The authoress opened her mouth to argue that she was no coward, but then she thought of her friends and the others. They were all probably still asleep. If Inwë and Reno got taken out, then no one would be there to warn them. Inwë gave her Turk friend one last, pained smile and then bolted. She heard an angry yell that she knew had not come from Reno. She kept running.

Inwë skidded to a halt before she crashed face-first into the bed of coals that still burned in the center of the camp. Rude, Vincent, and Cloud were all awake in a flash.

"What's going on?" Cloud demanded sharply. The authoress gasped for breath and pointed towards where she had left Reno.

"Reno and I…on guard duty…heard someone…told me to warn you…" she panted. The others got the message and grabbed their weapons. Cloud put Inwë in charge of waking the others up before he and the other two ran off to help Reno. The authoress first went to shake Norrington and Hatori into consciousness. As soon as they understood what was going on, they headed up the path after Cloud. Inwë looked around wildly for some sort of weapon so she could go and fight too, but by then Tifa and her friends were awake.

"Let them handle this," Tifa told the authoress sternly.

"But I left him up there! I have to help him!" Inwë protested while she rummaged in her pack for the pocketknife she had been using to cut up her beef jerky and peel potatoes.

"Reno will be fine. Honestly, do you think any soldiers would be able to take him on?"

"Sephiroth might," the Elf argued lamely. Tifa patted her on the back and set to work organizing the other teens enough so that they could keep watch. It was too dangerous for them to go running after the guys, considering the only skilled fighter in the group was Tifa.

They waited more or less patiently for ten minutes before they heard someone coming. Tifa was on her guard, but Inwë was too worried about Reno and the others to be cautious.

"Reno? Cloud? Norrington?" she called as she jogged towards the approaching person.

"Inwë! Get back here!" Tifa yelled.

"Suzume!" Aki growled. The authoress ignored them. She stopped when she got close to the person. He was hidden mostly in the shadows, but Inwë could tell it was a man.

"Cloud? Vincent?" she asked nervously.

"Hm. You really are rather stupid." Inwë backed away very quickly as she recognized the voice. The man slowly stepped out of the gloom. The moonlight reflected off his silver hair and the blade of his katana. His bright, cat-like eyes glowed softly in the darkness. Inwë bit back a terrified scream. She heard more footsteps behind her as Tifa and her friends ran up. The authoress didn't look at them, she just stared at Sephiroth.

"Run."

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**A/N: Oh...so _that's_ what listening to One-Winged Angel does to my muse...**


	13. Unlucky Thirteen

**A/N: Hm. Listening to One-Winged Angel again. I dunno if that means something bad will happen or if Sephiroth will just show up more than usual. **

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The teenagers scrambled as far from the arch villain as they could. Tifa remained rooted to the spot, staring at her old enemy with something like grim horror on her face. Inwë slid to a halt and stared back at her.

"Tifa! Come _on_!" she yelled. Tifa blinked, hesitated, and then ran after the others. Sephiroth stayed where he was and watched them flee. Inwë couldn't be sure, but she thought he looked amused.

Inwë and Tifa raced after Inwë's friends, both of them breathing heavily. The authoress stumbled once, fell, and picked herself up before Tifa could stop to go back for her. Finally they spotted Aki and Shaedan up ahead.

"Guys! Keep running!" Inwë shouted. Her friends glanced over their shoulders and plunged further into the jungle. Tifa was soon caught up to them, but Inwë was trailing behind. She had always been a slow runner, and now her weaknesses were catching up with her. She tried to surge ahead but only managed to trip over a tree root. She landed hard on her side and lay there for a moment, panting. Nothing felt broken, but she was exhausted. _Wimp_, she thought to herself, _Just get up and keep going. You're not _that_ weak!_ She gritted her teeth and climbed to her feet, still mentally beating the snot out of herself for being so stupid. Just then, she heard crashing behind her and darted off the path. Two figures ran past her hiding place and stopped a few feet along the trail. One was an East India Trading Co. soldier, and the other had to be Beckett. His wig was slightly askew and he was letting out wheezing breaths.

"You there," he ordered the soldier between wheezes, "You…search on ahead. I'll wait here…for…the others…to catch up." The redcoat gave Beckett a slightly disgusted look and kept going. Beckett let out something that sounded like a cross between a cough and a high-pitched whistle and sat down with his back against a tree. Inwë eyed him silently from the bushes. She had a pocketknife with her, and even though it wasn't _quite_ as effective as a katana or a gold hoop earring, she was pretty sure she could carve his heart out with it. She was just thinking about how to do that when she heard someone else coming, this time at a walk rather than a sprint. The authoress moved a little deeper into the bushes and ran into someone.

Before she could let out a terrified shriek, the someone clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Shhh, Elf. It's me, Norrington," he hissed in her ear. Inwë nodded slightly to show she understood and he let go of her. She turned slightly and stared at him.

"Where are the others?" she mouthed silently. Norrington pointed back towards the camp.

"They sent me after you," he mouthed back. Inwë nodded and looked back towards were Beckett had been sitting. She almost jumped. Sephiroth and the Mouth of Sauron were standing on either side of Beckett, who was very pale. The three villains were talking.

"Don't tell me you lost them," Sephiroth said mildly.

"It would not be good for you if they got away and got the powers before we did, would it?" the Mouth added in his odd accent. He gave Beckett a wide, unpleasant smile. Beckett gulped.

"I sent a soldier after them. I thought it was a good idea for me to wait for you."

"You are only making excuses. You are lazy and stupid. A single, ordinary soldier cannot hope to defeat five people," the Mouth replied coldly.

"They're just _women_ –," Beckett argued. Sephiroth gave him a look and he shut up.

"It does not matter. They could still get the powers. We _must_ capture them before they reach their goal," the Mouth said smoothly.

"If you're looking for them," the Voice of Reason interjected from overhead with obvious glee in its tone, "They've stopped and are heading back this way. I expect they've realized that the authoress is missing from their group. Odd, isn't it, that she's hiding _right behind the bushes on the other side of the path to your right!_" Before Inwë could think of a curse worthy of the Voice's villainy, Norrington had grabbed her arm and was pulling her through the trees in an attempt to make their escape.

Fifteen minutes later, it looked like they had finally lost their pursuers. Inwë and Norrington collapsed by a riverbank and sucked down some cold water. When they were both breathing normally again, Inwë glanced at the Commodore.

"We have to go back. The others could have been caught or captured by now."

"No need," said a new voice from the trees, "It's too late." The authoress whipped her head around and saw Cloud, Hatori, Vincent, the Turks, and Amaya. Cloud had his sword in one hand and a thin cut on his right arm.

"What happened?" Norrington asked calmly. Amaya gave Inwë a significant look.

"They got caught," the authoress choked out.

"It's ok, Val," Reno reassured her, "They're all alive."

"But for how long?" Vincent growled.

"The Mouth and Sephiroth are clever, they wouldn't kill off such good bargaining chips," Amaya muttered bitterly. Inwë nodded grimly.

"We _have_ to rescue them! It's our job, if nothing else," she said.

"So what do you suggest?" Norrington inquired sarcastically, "Full frontal assault or a stealth attack?" Inwë pondered and sighed.

"The last time I had to pick between those two options I wound up running up twenty flights of stairs and then having to take the elevator back down to the ground floor."

"Which one did you choose?" Amaya wondered.

"I went with stealth because it seemed like something a Turk would do. That, and Tifa was the one who suggested – I'll shut up now."

"So how 'bout this time we try a full frontal assault?" Reno offered. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Sephiroth is with them. It would be suicide."

"Hey!" Inwë exclaimed, "I've got an idea! This worked last time I tried it, but it's risky. Some of us do the full frontal assault thing while the rest sneak around the back and rescue the captives, savvy?"

"It's still suicide," Cloud pointed out. Inwë gave him a look.

"Do you want to rescue your girlfriend or not?" she challenged airily. Amaya stared at her with wide eyes while Cloud bristled.

"For the last time, Tifa is not my girlfriend. But I'll do whatever I can to rescue her."

"Then it's settled. Now everyone listen up!" the authoress ordered sharply. Hatori and Vincent gave her blank looks that clearly said they were only listening to her to help the others. Before Inwë could start explaining her daring plan, the Voice of Reason coughed from overhead. Inwë reached for a katana that didn't exist and let out a soft growl, Cloud grabbed his sword, and Vincent and the Turks drew their various weapons.

"Oh, do calm down. Without the authoress' powers you can't even reach me," the Voice drawled in a bored tone, "Besides, 'I am herald and ambassador and will not be assailed!' The Mouth and his group have given me a job as a messenger, but I think eventually they'll promote me – after you're all dead, of course -."

"Would you just _get to the point?_" Amaya snarled. She had not taken kindly to her sister and two of her best friends being kidnapped. The Voice sniffed indignantly.

"Fine. The Mouth of Sauron, Lord Cutler Beckett, and Sephiroth are willing to release your friends if the authoress, Cloud Strife, and former-Commodore James Norrington turn themselves in. Furthermore, the rest of you are to leave this dimension permanently and swear never to return or oppose Lord Beckett -."

_Bang_. Everyone jumped and turned around. Vincent had his pistol out and had just fired a shot in the general direction of the Voice.

"_Vincent_!" Inwë cried in exasperation. The undead Turk shrugged.

"I'd heard enough."

"You had to say that twice before you managed to kill Hojo!" the unharmed Voice of Reason pointed out. Vincent aimed his gun towards the Voice and gave it a look.

"If you want me to shoot again, by all means keep talking." The Voice made a sound like a cross between and cough and a whimper.

"You can tell Sephiroth and those guys to go to -!" Reno yelled before Inwë clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Quiet. I've got an idea," she hissed at him before rounding on the invisible Voice.

"All right, we agree. Cloud and Norrington and I will meet them tomorrow morning at the small quarry about half a mile from here. They bring our captive friends or there's no deal, savvy?" she replied with a fierce fire in her eyes. The Voice was silent for a second before it muttered an "agreed" and vanished. Reno gave Inwë a blank look.

"Are you _out of your mind_, Val?" he demanded furiously. Inwë waved him off.

"Don't yell, Reno. Amaya and I are delicate."

"Inwë, now is not the time to be quoting _Fruits Basket_," Amaya reminded her sternly. The authoress shrugged.

"So we're just gonna give up? Is this your brilliant plan?" Cloud asked quietly.

"Don't be so optimistic all the time, Cloud! Of course we're not giving up. I'd only agree to something so suicidal if we didn't have any other options."

"Hey, wait a sec," Reno protested, "How did you know about this quarry anyways? Does it even exist?"

"I spotted it on our way down the hill. It's a good place for an ambush, which is what Sephiroth and the Mouth will be expecting. And it's also not what we're doing," the authoress replied curtly.

"What _are_ we doing?" Hatori inquired.

"Well, it's like this: the Commodore, Cloud, and I will arrive as promised in the quarry, but we'll have our weapons. I bet Sephiroth is expecting a fight anyways, so I don't think they'll do anything to our friends because of that. While the boys and I distract the bad guys, the Turks, Amaya, and Hatori will sneak around the back and rescue our pals. Meanwhile, Vincent will be giving you covering fire from the cliffs around the edges of the quarry. If all goes well, you'll get away without difficulty."

"And what about us?" Norrington asked sharply.

"Well," Inwë said slowly, "We'll be fighting the bad guys. Cloud obviously gets to tackle Sephiroth -."

"Joy."

"- Norrington, I want you to take Beckett. I think I can handle the Mouth."

"No way," Cloud replied with a shake of his head, "There's no way I'm letting you fight that guy alone. You'd be dead in three seconds."

"O ye of so very little faith! I've been fighting the Mouth for ages and ages; I know his style and his weaknesses. Besides, you'll have your hands full with Sephiroth." Cloud muttered some kind of complaint under his breath but couldn't argue with that logic. Inwë turned and gave Amaya an encouraging smile.

"You, mate, are in charge of getting your sister and our adopted siblings out of harm's way. Do I make myself clear?"

"They're _my_ adopted siblings," Amaya said with a pained smile, "You're the long-lost cousin, remember?" Inwë chuckled and gave her best friend a quick hug.

"Yep, I'm the long-lost cousin, and I'm happy to be found!"

"Awww that's sweet!" Reno cooed with a smile. Amaya and Inwë gave him equally blank looks. Reno blushed.

"So are we ready to do this?" Inwë asked in a loud voice.

"Yeah!" chorused the group, minus Vincent and Rude.

"Val, you and Amaya need some kind o' weapons," Reno pointed out lazily as he twirled his EMR in one hand. Inwë grinned hopefully.

"Katana, my precious?" she questioned in a hyper voice. Reno gave Cloud a sidelong look and nodded.

"If we can find some, sure."

"Well, to be honest I'm not very good at wielding one," Inwë sighed.

"Sheesh, Val! What the heck do ya think _we're_ here for?" the Turk replied with a laugh.

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**A/N: I apologize for the long wait between updates – I've been museless and busy. Reviews would be a nice way to show your thanks (but flames will be donated to Authoressinhiding for use in her flame-thrower). And as for ye, Cap'n, I know ya changed yer name but I'm gonna call ya Cap'n anyways, savvy? The future demented three-way swordfight is for you. **


	14. Katana Lessons

**A/N: I have a nice little playlist of "muse music" playing as I write, so this should turn out pretty well. Mikol, thank you for reviewing even after I've been absent so long. Cap'n, I expect you to review no matter how long I've been absent because I do the same thing for you, but thanks anyways XD. Same goes for ye, Mer. **

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"Val, don't wave that thing around like that. You could hit someone," Reno reminded Inwë for the tenth time. It was probably about four in the morning and the sun was just starting to rise. Despite the lack of sleep, everyone who remained in the group was alert and tense. They estimated that they had maybe five more hours until Sephiroth and the others showed up in the quarry, and that was a painfully short amount of time to teach a teenager how to use a katana. However, the girls were fast learners, if a bit clumsy. As Reno reprimanded her, Inwë gave him an innocent smile.

"Are you saying that out of personal experience?" she inquired sweetly, letting her eyes wander to Reno's EMR and then towards Rude. Reno gave her an annoyed look.

"That was an accident." Inwë laughed and playfully twirled her katana. The Turks had vanished an hour ago and returned with two well made if plain katana. The blades were identical, each three feet long (counting the hilt) and surprisingly light. Reno refused to say where he and Rude had found them, but Inwë was almost positive that hers had a bloodstain on it.

"Ok, so I think I'm ready to practice!" the authoress said cheerfully. Reno sighed.

"You're just going to get beaten again."

"It's not _my_ fault that Cloud is our teacher! Whom else am I supposed to spar with?" Inwë protested indignantly. Cloud, who was busy showing Amaya how to parry a blow from the side, looked up and glared at Reno.

"Do you have to aggravate her? Just fight her yourself if you're tired of her whining," he said quietly. Inwë grinned evilly and slowly turned her head to stare at Reno.

"Oh no! No way! I'm not fighting a girl!" he stammered as he backed away.

"Sexist! SEXIST!" Inwë and Amaya chorused. Vincent rolled his eyes from his perch on a small rock ledge and kept cleaning his gun.

"Fine!" Reno squawked, "Fine! I'll show you what the Turks are made of!" With that he lunged at Inwë. She was a little slow, but she managed to dodge to the side. Reno stumbled a few feet and turned around for another hit. Inwë parried it, then slashed at him. He parried that blow in turn and aimed a kick at her face. Inwë wasn't expecting that and lost her balance when she tried to dodge. She tripped over her own feet and landed hard on her backside.

"Laugh and I will kill you," she snarled as she pulled herself to her feet. It was too late. Reno had dissolved into a fit of laughter.

"Sure you'll kill me! Assuming you don't fall and land on your -!" Inwë slammed the hilt of her katana against his stomach as hard as she could. Reno doubled over, his laugh turning into a racking cough.

"How…the heck…did you get…that close?" he panted while Inwë glared at him.

"You were laughing so hard that you didn't see me in time," she replied coolly. Reno laughed again before he started coughing once more.

"I was goin' easy on ya," he answered with a roguish grin. Inwë snorted and twirled her katana around a few times, then dropped it.

"Ah. Oops. Remind me not to twirl this thing – I'm not very good at it."

"Just concentrate on not getting killed, all right?" Hatori sighed as he walked past with a bucket of water to use to put out the campfire.

"Good point," Cloud agreed. Inwë scowled.

"Right. Ok, Reno, care for a rematch?" she asked the Turk with a wicked smile. He shook his head.

"Lemme catch my breath first, 'kay?" Inwë wagged a finger at him.

"You just know I'll beat you again!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Val." Inwë rolled her eyes skyward and bounced over to where Cloud and Amaya were getting ready to have a mock fight. Cloud tipped his head to one side.

"Amaya, how about you and Inwë duel? It's not fair for me to fight you."

"Yes, sir!" the girls replied simultaneously with cocky salutes. Cloud groaned.

"Don't die." Inwë and Amaya drew their weapons and slowly started to circle each other.

"Our fellow Turks are really missing out," Inwë said sadly.

"Big time," Amaya replied. Inwë jumped forward suddenly and slashed at her friend, purposefully going more slowly so she would have time to parry. Amaya parried it easily and stabbed at Inwë more quickly. _Ah, so we're not pulling punches_, the authoress thought with a grim smile. She twisted out of the way just as Amaya's katana headed towards her and slashed at her friend's back with the blunt side of her blade. Amaya seemed to be anticipating that and moved out of the way just in time. Inwë barely managed to block a slash aimed at her face. She backed up several feet and stood there, breathing heavily as Amaya did the same. They nodded to one another. Inwë lifted her sword in a high guard, just as she had learned from watching _Kingdom of Heaven_. Amaya took a more subtle approach and walked towards her friend, only lunging at the last second. Inwë parried the blow, but just as she was about to strike, Amaya got her sword past Inwë's defenses. The pair froze, Amaya with her katana at Inwë's throat and Inwë with her blade half-raised in an incomplete movement.

"Uhh…do you yield?" Amaya asked awkwardly.

"Well _duh_."

"Oh. So I win?" Amaya slowly backed off with a curious smile on her face. Inwë let out a slow breath.

"I'm doomed."

"Don't take it so personally, Elf," Norrington reminded her sternly. He had been watching the fight alongside Cloud and was nodding his approval. Inwë gave him an exasperated look.

"Cloud's right, I won't last three seconds against the Mouth."

"Don't be so optimistic, Inwë!" Cloud reminded her with a wry smile, "And good job, Amaya. You're not bad."

"Thanks!" Amaya replied with a broad grin. Inwë smiled too and gave her a thumbs up.

"You really were good. I didn't even see that last attack coming. Maybe you should duel Reno now…?" Reno looked up sharply from his small breakfast of bread and leftover beef jerky.

"Nope, sorry guys. I just got done eatin'," he answered quickly.

"Oh, I bet you're worried that you'll get _really_ beaten this time," Inwë challenged him. The Turk bristled, muttered something under his breath that sounded like a string of curse words, and glared at the ground. Amaya opened her mouth to add something when Vincent stood up on his ledge and peered towards the quarry.

"Amaya, may I use your telescope?" he asked. Something in his tone put Inwë on edge. Amaya nodded and went over to her backpack, returning a moment later with her spyglass.

"Here you go, Vincent," she murmured as she handed it to him. He didn't thank her, only looking through the spyglass. After a few moments he shook his head.

"I can see Sephiroth's group heading towards the quarry."

"They're up early," Inwë muttered dryly. Cloud ignored her and climbed up onto the ledge. Vincent silently handed him the telescope.

"Yeah, they're heading towards the quarry. It looks like they have our friends with them." Inwë exchanged a sidelong glance with Amaya.

"This is it, guys. Be strong, Amaya-san. Get our friends and then get the hell out of there," the authoress said with an odd note in her voice. Amaya twitched automatically as her friend swore, but didn't say anything.

"Should we show up late? That'd be fun," Reno wondered sarcastically.

"What'll be fun is quoting _Kingdom Hearts II_ when I _know_ Cloud doesn't remember saying any of those lines!" Inwë chattered suddenly. Cloud and Vincent gave her odd looks.

"Forget I said anything." Amaya moaned and buried her face in one hand.

"Please, for the love of all we hold dear, don't do anything stupid," she growled. Inwë looked indignant.

"I _never_ do anything stupid, my dear Amaya-san! I will be serious through the entire encounter and get there by foot –_ comfortably_ and _invincibly_!"

"You just _have_ to quote Ayame, don't you?" Hatori asked with a deathglare in the authoress' direction. Inwë grinned and nodded.

"Yep! Nothing like a little insanity to brighten our current moods!"

"Can I knock her out?" Reno inquired with a hopeful grin.

"_No!_" Cloud, Vincent, and Norrington replied in unison. Rude and Reno sighed and stood up.

"Well, what're we waitin' for? Let's crash this party!" Reno said fiercely.

"And don't forget to bash a few heads while you're at it," Inwë muttered.

"Wish us luck – we're going to need it," Norrington murmured grimly.

"Good luck," Amaya wished. Inwë picked up her sheathed katana and nodded to her friends.

"Let's do this."


	15. Deathmatch

**A/N: This chapter is best read if you have either "He's a Pirate" (DMC mix) or "One-Winged Angel" playing in the background. Personally, I prefer to have "He's a Pirate" playing and then switch to "One-Winged Angel" at certain points…or play them one after another…your choice. Oh, and about this chapter…you have to pay attention or you'll get confused (and Cap'n, this isn't my demented three-way swordfight. That comes later XD). **

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Cloud, Norrington, and Inwë walked quietly into the quarry. It was a very good place for an ambush, as Inwë had pointed out. Steep walls rose on both sides of the small canyon, which cut a sort of hallway through the thick jungle. The quarry itself was not very large – only about twenty feet from wall to wall and forty feet from end to end. The woods had overgrown much of the small place. The two ends of the quarry were really just where the stone met the tree line. The stone itself was cracked in places and a thick layer of moss coated much of it, silencing the footsteps of the three warriors as they entered the quarry. Sephiroth, the Mouth of Sauron, and Beckett were waiting for them on the other side. Overhead, the sky was overcast and a crash of thunder announced the approach of rain.

"Sorry to keep you, Sephiroth!" Inwë said sarcastically as they approached. Cloud blinked slowly. The words sounded familiar but he couldn't think of where he'd heard them before. Sephiroth just stared at the authoress.

"We are here, as promised," Norrington snapped once they were about ten feet away from their enemies, "Now where are our friends?"

"They're safe…for now," Beckett replied coolly. Inwë smirked at him, enjoying some kind of amusing thought about him. Norrington hoped she wouldn't act as impudent as he thought she would.

"The agreement was that you'd let them go if we showed up," Cloud said with a hint of annoyance in his tone. Inwë made a mental note to compliment him on his acting skills later.

"We'll 'let them go' soon enough. You'll even be able to be together…once you're all dead," Sephiroth answered. Cloud growled and drew his sword. Norrington did the same. Inwë, who had carried her sheathed katana because she didn't have a sword belt, pulled her katana out and tossed the scabbard to one side. Sephiroth smiled slightly.

"This will be interesting. I look forward to watching you die, Cloud."

"I guess you'll just have to learn to deal with disappointment," Cloud answered calmly. Meanwhile, the Mouth and Inwë were staring each other down.

"My, my, Inwë. How long has it been since we last fought?"

"Too long for my taste."

"Eager to die?"

"Eager to kick your sorry butt into the next dimension."

"Hmph. And here I was hoping you'd be acting _noble_, giving your life to save your friends."

"Too bad. I'm a delivery girl now." The Mouth, for once, had a very blank look on his face before he grinned again.

"Delivery girl? And what do you deliver? Pizza?" Inwë twirled her sword around once and pointed it towards the Mouth.

"I deliver _pain_. Get the door, it's Dominoes." Inwë used her free hand to pretend to push an imaginary doorbell button, and then grinned. Before the Mouth could reply, she lunged forward and slashed at him. He parried the blow and backed off a couple feet. At the same moment, Sephiroth and Cloud started battling. They both moved far too fast for poor Norrington to make out any of their movements, though it looked to him like they were evenly matched.

"So...uh, traitor! Prepare to discover what happens to those who betray the East India Trading Company!" Beckett challenged in a much higher voice than usual. Norrington looked away from the battle and gave Beckett an odd look.

"Traitor? Please. Come up with a better insult before you start talking." Norrington immediately jumped forward and attacked. Beckett, being incompetent, barely managed to dodge the blow. He landed a weak counter-attack, which Norrington easily parried, and tried to slash at the Commodore's arm. He missed.

Meanwhile, Cloud and Sephiroth were caught in a dead lock. The two had struck out at one another at the same time and were having a kind of reverse tug-a-war, neither wanting to cave in and end up getting injured. Sephiroth seemed at ease, as usual, while Cloud was obviously working very hard.

"I don't understand why you always keep fighting, Cloud. Every time the two of us meet, someone you care about gets hurt. Tell me, whose fault is that?"

"Shut up!" Cloud shouted as he broke away and swung his sword at Sephiroth's head. Sephiroth blocked the blow and attacked. His blade managed to cut Cloud's arm, but the blonde warrior didn't seem to notice. The two of them started battling more quickly, so quickly that a normal person wouldn't have been able to keep up, rather like the two had done in _Advent Children_.

Back with Inwë, the Mouth had cut her left arm. The authoress pretended not to notice, but the pain was sharp and she hated the feeling of her own blood dripping down her arm. She was also fairly certain that the Mouth's sword was poisoned, though probably not with anything lethal. She didn't think he'd want their fight to be over that quickly. He enjoyed making people suffer, and if the authoress' mind were numbed by poison, he'd only manage to kill her faster.

"I didn't expect much from you, Inwë, but I really am disappointed in your fighting abilities. Did you learn _nothing_ from being around so many warriors for so long?" the Mouth taunted her.

"Oh, don't be immature. You've gotten rusty if those are the best insults you can come up with," Inwë replied nonchalantly, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. It had started raining a few moments ago and her hair was already soaked, but she didn't have anything to tie it back with. The Mouth eyed her and started to make some kind of smart aleck comment, but Inwë attacked before he could finish. She lunged forward again and slashed at him twice, once aiming for his head and once aiming for his right shoulder. The first blow hit his helmet and the second he parried. Inwë smiled slyly as she heard the dull _thud_ of her katana hitting his head.

"Hmm. I guess it isn't quite hollow. Oh well, if it was _completely_ empty I suppose you wouldn't even be alive. That's too bad." The Mouth muttered something under his breath. At first Inwë thought he was just cursing to himself, but then she saw a chunk of ice flying towards her head. She dodged it and scowled.

"Magic. Damn," she murmured. Back in the "old days", she had had fire magic to counter the Mouth's ice and shadow magic. Now she was at a disadvantage. The Mouth tipped his head slightly to one side and grinned.

"Try to realize you're going to die. I hope you enjoy Mandos."

"Can I bring a friend?" Inwë asked sarcastically. The Mouth got the wrong impression and grinned more.

"Of course. All your friends will be joining you there shortly." Inwë shook her head.

"No. You see, by _friend_ I meant _you_." The Mouth scowled. The authoress lunged at him again. He dodged to the right and slashed at Inwë's exposed back. She bit back a cry of pain as the sword sliced across her shoulder blades. It wasn't very deep, but it caused considerable discomfort. Inwë backed off a little and stood there, panting, as she felt blood dripping sluggishly down her back.

"You know," she said lightly, "Back in the day you would have hit a little harder and taken my head off. Getting a little slow in our old age, are we?" The Mouth grinned and shook his head.

"You're the one who's a little slow, Inwë. If you were at the height of your powers you wouldn't have tried that pathetic attack."

"If I was at the height of my powers, one of us would already be dead – and it wouldn't be me!" she replied icily. The Mouth chuckled.

"Ah, but even in the old days you weren't in your prime. You'd been getting steadily weaker ever since you deserted Valinor. It was only a matter of time before I became powerful enough to kill you."

"You had your chance. Three times. Every time your damned arrogance got in the way."

"Three times?" the Mouth asked with a blank look on his face. Inwë paused a moment as she realized something. _The Mouth didn't remember!_ The authoress decided to test this thought out.

"So…when _was_ the last time we fought face-to-face? It's been so long, I'm starting to forget who won." The foul messenger of Mordor cocked his head to one side, thinking.

"Let me see…ah yes, I recall now. That foolish Witch-king caught you. I won that round, Inwë, and don't you forget it. And _still_ you managed to escape. You ran and hid like the coward you are, vanished until you showed up at the Black Gate just before Sauron fell a year ago." Inwë blinked slowly as she processed that information. Had it really only been a year since Sauron fell? How could the Mouth not remember the long years between then and the last time they had spoken? It was a span of at least twenty-two years. Either the Mouth was suffering from amnesia, or perhaps this was a "different" Mouth from the one she had been fighting for so long. Inwë decided it had to be the latter, but didn't have time to think on it more because just then Beckett came hurtling past. He was breathing heavily and seemed to be scared out of his mind. Inwë glanced around and saw Norrington following Beckett.

"Bloody coward!" Norrington yelled at Becket, who ignored him and kept running. The Mouth, if his eyes had been visible, would have rolled them. With a wave of his hand he sent a chunk of ice towards Beckett's feet. When the ice collided with him, he found himself stuck to the ground.

"Stay in the fight, you incompetent fool. It'll be over in a minute," the Mouth growled. Inwë couldn't help but laugh.

"Nice one!" she snorted in a moment of forgetfulness, "What the hell am I saying?" She charged at the Mouth and managed to hit him in the shoulder. Norrington, who was heading past them towards Beckett, aimed a sharp blow at the Mouth's opposite shoulder. The two hits combined meant the Mouth was not very happy. He had never had a very high pain tolerance. With a snarl of rage he sent a sphere of black magic straight at Norrington. The sphere engulfed him and threw him against the quarry wall before dropping him.

"Hey, leave him out of this! Your argument's with _me_, Mouth!" Inwë shouted angrily as she parried a blow from the Mouth's sword. The Mouth laughed cruelly.

"When are you going to realize that is the reason I bring the ones you care about into things in the first place?" he asked. Inwë let out a soft hiss and attacked the Mouth with a fast burst of sharp blows. He parried most of them, but a few got past his guard: the Mouth ended up with several slashes across his arms and chest. In turn, he stabbed at Inwë and managed to cut her right shoulder. It was deep but not life threatening. However, the authoress was losing plenty of blood from all the injuries she'd gotten. She swung at the Mouth one last time before turning and running towards the tree line. The Mouth was a little slow to follow because he had to doge her blow, but he still went after her. Inwë ran as fast as she could towards a pile of boulders that looked like a good hiding spot. She ducked behind the rocks and sat there, panting. After a second she peered around the right side of the boulders. The Mouth was standing several yards away, looking around vainly for his opponent. Inwë chuckled softly to herself and glanced over to her left.

Her smile froze.

There, lying on his back with his face turned away from her was Cloud. Inwë could tell from the cuts on his arm that he had taken a heavy beating. He appeared to be unconscious, but from the gentle rise and fall of his chest she could tell he was still breathing. _But if Cloud's there_, Inwë thought to herself, _then where's…?_

"Hello, Inwë." The authoress turned her head sharply. None other than Sephiroth himself was standing in front of her, bloodstained katana in one hand. Inwë stared at him with her mouth open in surprise. There was no way she could mask her fear, and there was certainly no way she could fight him. Only Cloud was capable of defeating Sephiroth, and he was lying unconscious a few yards away. Still, Inwë wasn't about to just sit there and die. She had her katana in her hand and slowly started to lift it. Before she could even begin to parry, Sephiroth stabbed her. Inwë felt the horrible pain but her mind didn't register it. It was too much. She slowly began to comprehend that she'd just been stabbed through the stomach, but before she do anything else Sephiroth had lifted his sword in the air and thrown Inwë towards the tree line. The authoress gasped in pain as she slid off the end of his katana and slammed against a tree. She lay where she'd fallen on her side, twitching from time to time and taking in short breathes. _How the hell does Cloud _live_ through this? _she wondered to herself before wondering if she would be able to live through it, too. The pain in her body told her she wouldn't. She closed her eyes and just kept breathing, though it was painful and she wasn't sure how long she could do it. After a second she heard footsteps approaching. She opened her eyes and turned her head slightly to look up. Sephiroth was standing next to her, watching her. He lifted his katana slightly, blood still dripping from it. The two of them held eye contact for a few moments before Inwë looked away and closed her eyes again. This was not how she had wanted to die, but she supposed it really didn't matter. She heard Sephiroth lift his sword higher, most likely so he could deliver a killing blow that would put Inwë out of her misery, before a sharp call interjected. That was the last thing Inwë heard as she fell into darkness…

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**A/N: CLIFFHANGER! Muhahaha. Don't panic and kill me just yet (I was nice enough to update two chapters in one day, ya know), I've already planned what's going to happen. I may even have finished typing up the next chapter. You never know. Reviews are loved and cherished, flames will be donated to Authoressinhiding because she's short on fuel for her flame-thrower. **


	16. The Settling of Everything

**A/N: Muhahaha. Here is the next chapter for ye. I don't want to hear any complaints about how Aerith should not be getting involved. If she can do it in Advent Children, she can do it in my crazy fanfiction! Cap'n, _now_ you get to watch the demented three-way swordfight I promised you. XD. Oh, and a quick note: this chapter will be mostly revolving around Inwë's "vision" (or near-death experience, take your pick). Sorry, Cap'n! There really isn't much to tell about the swordfight since Sephiroth is just toying with the other two. That, and I'm not very good at writing fight scenes. **

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Sephiroth looked over his shoulder towards the voice that was now yelling at him. He lowered his katana and watched as the Mouth and a battered Beckett walked towards him.

"Idiot! We need her _alive_ until we find the authoress' powers!" Beckett was shouting, "If she dies before we get the powers, this whole dimension will cease to exist! Don't you understand that this whole place is inside her imagination?" Sephiroth gave him a blank look. The Mouth shook his head sharply and pointed at Inwë.

"Beckett, even if he is a fool, does have a point. If that Vala brat is killed we'll never be able to escape this realm. We'll be suspended in time, trapped forever." Sephiroth suddenly started laughing.

"You have it all wrong. If she dies, you two will be trapped here forever. _I_ will be able to leave," he replied coolly. The Mouth automatically raised his sword in a defense stance.

"How so?" Sephiroth turned around and looked down at the unconscious authoress, using the tip of his katana to brush a wet strand of hair away from her face.

"I am far more powerful than either of you," he explained as he sheathed his sword and continued to stare at Inwë, "Even if I am destroyed, something always calls me back. Not unlike you, Mouth."

"What are you talking about?" the Mouth demanded. Sephiroth tipped his head back and looked up at the sky.

"Oh yes. I forgot…you aren't the same Mouth that's been resurrected twice after losing to Inwë or Aragorn. You wouldn't understand." He looked back down at the authoress and remained silent for several seconds. Beckett nervously drew his own sword.

"I can't let either of you have the powers! You're both just in this for revenge, I at least am in it for the good of the East India Trading Company!" he snapped.

"You mean for _your_ good," Sephiroth answered with a hint of sarcasm in his tone. Beckett paled and coughed.

"It doesn't matter! I won't let you two get away with this!" The Mouth cackled and eyed Beckett.

"Are you really so foolish as to think you can defeat either of us in combat? You didn't even manage to finish off your own opponent."

"You don't see him around here, do you?" Beckett challenged.

"That's because he's hiding on the other side of the quarry," Sephiroth replied without turning. Beckett and the Mouth craned their necks to try and see Norrington, who was indeed hiding behind a large rock formation near the opposite tree line. He wasn't stupid enough to take on all three villains at once, though he was keeping a sharp eye on the situation. Beckett shook his head and looked back towards Sephiroth.

"Forget about him! He's a coward and a traitor, and will be dealt with later!" With that, Beckett twirled his sword around once and glared at his two allies-turned-enemies.

"Who wants to die first?" he taunted. The Mouth peered over at Sephiroth.

"Do you think he means it?" he asked. The other villain shrugged slightly.

"For his sake, I hope not. However…" Sephiroth drew his sword and turned around, the ghost of an amused smile on his face.

"It seems I'll have to get rid of you two before I can continue with my plan. This should be quite interesting." Beckett and the Mouth glanced at each other quickly, making a silent agreement to fight together for a little while, and rushed at Sephiroth. He easily parried both their blows and swung his katana in a powerful counter attack. The other two gave him a wide berth and started backing towards the middle of the quarry, where there was better footing and more room.

* * *

Inwë slowly opened her eyes. She didn't know where she was or how long she had been there, but she was too tired to care. She felt sore and drained, but she wasn't sure why. Then she remembered. She remembered her fight with the Mouth, her retreat, Sephiroth's attack, the voice calling out just before he struck the final blow…and then, nothing. She let out a soft moan as she realized she must be dead. There was no other explanation. But if she was dead, then why did she still ache all over? She closed her eyes again and sighed. A warm breeze stirred her oddly dry hair and brought the scent of flowers with it. The smell was familiar. Inwë opened one eye again and looked around. White and yellow lilies, just like the ones in Aerith's church, surrounded her. The sky overhead was dark blue and dotted with thousands of stars. Inwë blinked and gingerly sat up.

"You're awake! That's good," said a familiar voice behind her. Inwë twisted around, wincing at the soreness in her ribs, and stared at the owner of the voice. A young woman in a pink dress with a red jacket was smiling down at her. She had long brown hair tied back in a ponytail and bright blue-green eyes.

"I _am_ dead," Inwë groaned. The woman laughed and shook her head.

"Don't you remember who sent Cloud and the others here?" Inwë nodded.

"You, Aerith. But you're dead, and I was at least dying when I passed out." Aerith smiled kindly and crouched down so she was eye level with the authoress.

"You haven't died yet, Inwë. You're fading. That's why I brought you here, so I can show you something." Aerith stood up and offered Inwë her hand.

"Let's go." Inwë pulled herself to her feet and followed Aerith through the starlit meadow of flowers. Her pain started to fade, but she wasn't sure if that was good or bad. After a few moments it was gone altogether.

"Aerith…" Inwë began after a moment, "Is Cloud all right? He didn't look so good when I saw him." Aerith looked over her shoulder at her companion with a soft smile on her face.

"Are you really that worried about him?" she asked. Inwë nodded.

"There are two things I've learned about Cloud: one, he may be a good fighter, but he has _real_ bad taste in employers. Two, he has a knack for getting into bad situations. Of _course_ I'm worried about him!" Both women laughed.

"That describes Cloud very well," Aerith replied, "But I don't think you need to worry about him." Inwë decided to take Aerith's word for it and sighed.

"He's a real handful."

"So are you! That's why I sent Cloud and the others in the first place." Inwë suddenly looked very grave and quiet. Aerith stopped walking and eyed her curiously.

"Are you ok?" she asked softly. The authoress shook her head.

"I…so, if they get hurt…it'll be my fault? Just like what happened to you was my fault? My sin," Inwë added with a ghost of a wry smile. Aerith gently put a hand on the authoress' shoulder.

"Don't blame yourself for that."

"But I…" Inwë let her voice trail off and sighed, staring into the distance. Aerith turned around and kept walking. Inwë eventually shook herself out of her thoughts and followed.

After another five minutes of walking, the two found themselves beside a shallow pool of water. Smooth black stones created a perfect ring around the smooth surface of the pond. Inwë's eyes widened slightly when she saw it. Aerith glanced at her, suddenly looking serious.

"Do you know what this is?" she inquired. Inwë slowly approached the pool and crouched down next to it, tracing her pointer finger along one of the smooth black rocks.

"This is a Vision Pool," she replied with a note of awe in her tone, "I've heard of them in stories, but I've never actually seen one."

"That's because they're very rare. Some dimensions don't even have one."

"What can it do?"

"This one can call up visions of the recent past or the present from any dimension where time exists." Inwë let out a low whistle.

"Nice. Most are limited to their own dimension. How did you find this one?"

"I asked the planet."

"Ah, yes. I should have thought of that." Inwë stood up and slowly circled the pool. Aerith stayed where she was and watched as Inwë paced.

"Well," the authoress said at length, "Why did you bring me here?" Aerith didn't answer. Instead, she knelt on the soft grass beside the stones and dipped her finger in the water. Ripples appeared on the surface and spread across the pool. In a moment, a murky image of the quarry appeared. Inwë gasped in surprised and sat down next to Aerith.

"Is this the past?" she asked quietly. Aerith nodded.

"This was just after you got stabbed about ten minutes ago." Inwë flinched as she spotted Sephiroth in the picture. The image flickered as Beckett and the Mouth ran up. Inwë could tell they were arguing even though there wasn't any sound to accompany the picture. After a few minutes Sephiroth and the other started fighting. Inwë couldn't help but grin.

"This is going to end badly for those two. Sephiroth is completely out of their league!" she said gleefully. Aerith laughed.

"You sound very supportive of the man who just tried to kill you," she commented lightly. The authoress shrugged.

"What can I say? Sephiroth is the best fighter I've ever seen, and I would love nothing better than for him to get rid of the other two for me. Saves me time." Inwë stood up and looked around.

"How do I get back? I have to get my powers." Aerith stood up too and sighed.

"You're starting to sound like Cloud." Inwë cracked a roguish grin.

"I'm not complaining. Now can you help me or not?" Aerith frowned slightly and Inwë's smile faded.

"You don't understand, Inwë. You're dying in that realm. I can't just send you back."

"Can't or won't?" the authoress challenged.

"Both. If I send you back, you'll die before you can get your powers." Inwë hissed in annoyance and turned her back on Aerith, running a hand through her hair.

"What am I supposed to do? If I stay here, Sephiroth will kill Beckett and the Mouth and go after my powers himself. He could kill Cloud and the others!"

"Inwë…you're dying. This dimension is the only safe place for you right now. As long as you're here and you receive no further injury, your life will be preserved," Aerith protested gently. Inwë sighed and sat down dejectedly.

"What will happen to everyone else if I die before I get my powers?"

"I don't know. Most of them are canon characters, so they should be all right."

"And my friends? Would they be all right?"

"I think they'd be returned to their own world, though possibly with amnesia or a different side effect." Inwë nodded.

"Send me back. I think I can find the strength to go on, just for a little while. My powers aren't far from the quarry. If I try, I could make it." Aerith opened her mouth to say something, and then shut it.

"I hope you know what you're doing." The authoress stood up and brushed off her clothes.

"Well, I guess we'll find out," she muttered. Aerith shook her head sadly and lifted a hand. Inwë felt the pain from her injuries start to return. Her surroundings began to fade out into mist until she could only see Aerith. Then, even she disappeared and left the authoress alone in the fog. Inwë started to turn around but found she couldn't move at all. The pain came back in full force just as she began to wonder if something had gone wrong, or if Aerith was purposefully keeping her trapped between realms. The authoress felt her mind sliding back into darkness…

* * *

In the quarry, Sephiroth was still easily holding off the hopeless attacks of Beckett and the Mouth. The two lower-class fighters were lucky that Sephiroth was just killing time rather than actually trying to kill them.

"You two are pathetic," the villain sighed in an almost bored tone as Beckett tried to slash at him – again.

"Hmph. I've been going easy on you!" the Mouth snapped angrily. He suddenly unleashed a flurry of magical attacks. Chunks of darkness and ice mixed together flew at Sephiroth, who easily dodged or shattered them all. Beckett let out a soft whimper as shards of ice flew at him.

"Watch where you're throwing those!" he yelled. The Mouth grinned.

"Oh, but I was." Beckett paled sharply. Sephiroth tipped his head slightly to one side as the three of them stood watching each other. The dynamics of the "alliances" being made were almost comical.

On the other side of the ravine, Inwë stirred slightly. Her eyes slowly fluttered open. She was wet again, as it was still raining, and she felt exhausted. There was something sticky on her hands, but she didn't want to think about what it was. She did anyway. She figured she must have lost a lot of blood. Inwë gingerly rolled onto her back and sat up. She made a point of not looking at her hands or at the ground.

"Hey! She's not dead!" shouted a furious voice from the opposite end of the quarry. Inwë looked up and saw the hazy outlines of Sephiroth, Beckett, and the Mouth. Her vision blurred again, but she could still hear footsteps running towards her.

"No way in _hell_ am I dying here!" she snarled to herself. Inwë climbed to her feet and stumbled towards where she sensed her powers were. Her sight cleared again and she could see the forest ahead. Her feet slipped on the slick rocks, but she kept going. She couldn't stop, not when she was so close. She wouldn't fail again.

The sound of branches snapping behind her spurred the authoress on. She wasn't all that worried about if the Mouth or Beckett caught her, since she figured she could talk her way out of that. Sephiroth was the one she was scared of. He wasn't the type to negotiate with people.

"Vala, don't be a fool! We have your friends captive!" Inwë heard the Mouth say somewhere behind her.

"Are you…sure…about that?" she panted as she dodged a few steps to the left and kept running. The Mouth didn't reply. Inwë wasn't sure what that meant, but she was too tired to think much of it. She paused for a second to catch her breath and put a hand on her stomach. The wound was bleeding again. _I don't have much time_, Inwë thought. She looked around desperately for any sign of the light that had marked the location of her powers until now. Up ahead, she saw a glimmer through the leaves. She sucked in a deep breath and ran towards it. She was starting to go numb and she was slowing down. _No_, she told herself sternly, _you can't give in yet. You have to keep fighting! Don't let those jerks win. _

"Remember the spirit of the Turks!" Inwë said fiercely to herself in an attempt to be courageous. She jogged towards the light that she could now see shining through the trees. She was so close. In a few more yards she staggered into a clearing.

In the center of the clearing, a bright light surrounded a small object. Inwë stepped forward and knelt down by the light. She sighed contentedly as she saw the familiar pendant and closed her fingers around it. It felt cool and smooth in her hand, the light slowly fading until it was nothing more than a faint gleam. Inwë stood back up and stared at the necklace as it rested in her hand. Suddenly, she felt the cold edge of a katana sliding against her neck, the blade resting on her shoulder.

"Give me the pendant," said a calm voice. Inwë smiled.

"It's too late for that, Sephiroth." She concentrated for just a moment, and the katana vanished. She heard Sephiroth take a step back.

"Next time think before you hurt the people I care about," the authoress said quietly before she willed Sephiroth out of the dimension. He beat her to it. Inwë sensed the dark magic gather behind her and disappear.

"Well, I guess he can still teleport," Inwë muttered, "Maybe this time he'll stay in his own realm." She heard more crashing behind her as the Mouth and Beckett caught up. She turned around and smiled at them evilly.

"Bye, Mouth!" she said innocently. The Mouth gave her one startled look before he vanished into thin air. Beckett gave the authoress a terrified look.

"I-I am the head of the East India Trading Company! You can't just kill me! There would be diplomatic consequences!" he begged in a very whiny voice. Inwë gave him a disgusted look.

"Hmph. You had better pray Bruckheimer gives you a quick and painless death in the next movie, because if you're still living after that then you're fair game. A friend of mine and I have planned out your demise in gruesome detail."

"So…?"

"That means that I have to let you go, but I'll be seeing you after the movie premieres. Savvy?" Beckett whimpered. Inwë snapped her fingers and Beckett vanished as well, sent back to his own world with the fear of God put back into him. Inwë relaxed slightly and looked around. Suddenly, she felt renewed pain from her injury. Her vision faded in and out very rapidly before she stumbled. She put out a hand to steady herself, but she collapsed. Her eyes slowly shut as her fingers curled around her pendant. She was so tired.

**A/N: It's not over 'til it's over. By the way…who said Inwë can't die? XD **


	17. Light

**A/N: I know, I know, one can only have so many cliffhangers in one story. I apologize. Take heart, my friends. Soon it will be over. Well, at least until the sequel. **

* * *

Inwë found herself in a tunnel of darkness. Her thoughts were blurred and her vision continued to fade in and out. It felt like a dream, with no clear border between reality and fiction. There was nothing to do but head deeper into the tunnel. Once or twice the authoress thought she saw a black wolf with bright blue eyes appear on the path ahead. Whenever she saw it she hurried forward, but when she got closer it had disappeared.

After what felt like hours of wandering the darkness, Inwë collapsed and buried her face in one hand. She was lost, it seemed, in every sense of the word. _I have to be dead. There's no other explanation. But why am I trapped in darkness?_ The authoress sighed sadly and looked around. Everything around her was still covered in shadows.

"Can you see the light?" asked a strange voice. Inwë whirled, looking wildly around for the speaker. She was completely alone.

"Who are you? What do you want?" she demanded.

"Can you see the light?" the voice repeated, "It's calling you, but something's getting in its way. Can't you feel it?" Inwë stood up and looked around.

"Light?" she wondered aloud. There was a low whine behind her, and she turned. The black wolf from before was sitting and watching her.

"Sirius?" she inquired uncertainly. The wolf stared at her with his bright, clear blue eyes. Human eyes. Inwë gasped and knelt down so she was eye level with the mysterious wolf. She slowly reached out a hand to pet him.

"Zack…?" Just before her fingers could brush against his coat, the wolf vanished. Bright, blinding light flooded the tunnel way. Inwë screamed and put her hands over her eyes, shielding them from the sudden brilliance. Eventually her eyes adjusted to the light and she lowered her hands. She could vaguely hear sounds around her, snatches of conversation, and the sound of the ocean.

"Can you see the light?" asked the unknown voice once more, before it faded away. Inwë tried to walk around but found herself unable to move. She felt her eyelids growing heavy, and she slowly closed them…

* * *

"Do you think she'll wake up?" inquired a calm voice.

"I don't know. For her friends' sakes, I hope she does," sighed a second.

"Things haven't turned out well so far. She's been out cold for three days," replied the same calm voice.

"I admit, there is the possibility that she won't recover. If her condition doesn't change soon…" There was a pause.

"Should we tell her friends?" asked the calm voice, "They've been through a lot together. They have the right to know if she's going to die or not." Inwë groaned slightly and struggled to open her eyes so she could see who was talking about her.

"Hey! Val's awake!" exclaimed a third voice. There was the sound of a chair sliding back quickly and two pairs of footsteps approaching. Inwë managed to open her eyes a little. Reno was standing next to her bed, staring down at her with an excited look on his face. Hatori suddenly appeared and frowned at the authoress. He put a hand on her forehead to check her temperature.

"You don't have a fever anymore. That's good," he informed her with a tired sigh.

"What…where are we?" Inwë murmured.

"The beach. There's a comfortable house here that's been hidden away from the rest of the continent," Vincent, the calm speaker, told her.

"Mmm…the beach…is there rum?" Reno chuckled.

"Yep, she's feelin' better."

"No thanks to ye, Reno," the authoress muttered, "Now, did you get my friends back in one piece? And what about Cloud, is he okay?"

"Your friends are fine. We could barely get them to leave your side. Sakura was here a moment ago, but we forced her to get herself some lunch. As for Cloud, he's conscious but still in rough shape. Tifa's with him now," Hatori said as he eyed Inwë with concern.

"What?" Inwë asked him suspiciously.

"You _do_ realize you should be dead right now, don't you?" Reno interjected before Hatori could speak. Both of them gave the Turk dark looks.

"Yes. I should be dead. Why am I not dead?" Inwë asked no one in particular.

"I'm not sure," Hatori replied, "When we found you, you had a white glow around you. It wouldn't let anyone touch you, so I wasn't able to check you for injury. However, since you seem to be in good health and spirits, I'll spare you the physical and let you check yourself over for wounds."

"Thanks." Inwë suddenly started coughing. Hatori grimaced slightly.

"I was afraid of this. Since you came so close to dying, I think your immune system took a heavy blow. Whenever you're in the realms, you're probably going to have a bad cough or other cold symptoms."

"Lovely."

"Aw, it ain't that bad, Val," Reno teased, "You could have been a lot worse off." Vincent rolled his eyes and Inwë gave Reno a blank look. The Turk grinned roguishly and headed out the door.

"I'll let everyone know you're not dead," he called over his shoulder.

"SUZUME-CHAN!" yelled four voices just as Reno stepped into the hallway. The Turk was almost barreled over by Inwë's friends, who all attempted to tackle her.

"Easy, mates. I'm still not feeling so hot," she warned them half-heartedly.

"You scared us half to death! Never _ever_ do that again!" Shaedan ordered sharply. Inwë raised an eyebrow.

"_I_ scared _you_ half to death? _I'm_ not the one who got kidnapped by Sephiroth."

"Yeah, but _we're_ not the ones who almost died!" Aki snarled. Inwë waved off the comment loftily.

"Trifles."

"Ehem," Hatori said airily (a rather disturbing tone for him), "Before you start celebrating, I would like to point out that Inwë hasn't had a change of clothes in four days, and she's covered in blood. You smell."

"Meanie!" Inwë whined, offended at being told she was smelly. However, one look at her blood-soaked shirt and she was more than willing to take a shower.

The authoress felt better after a nice cold rinse. The blood in her hair had been difficult to get out, and she would need to cut it when she got back home. Still, she was clean and alive, and even got a change of clothes as an added bonus. While she was dressing she eyed herself in the bathroom mirror. Sure enough, there was a thin scar just below her rib cage, mirrored by one on her back. It had the grayish half-healed look of a Morgul wound and still felt a bit sore, but it wasn't bleeding. _Another scar and another story to add to the collection_, Inwë thought with a grim smile. Most of the "scars" she had weren't visible unless she was in Middle-earth, but she had a feeling this one wouldn't fade away.

Inwë's next order of business was touring the strange house and finding and/or locating in her discovery a way to get some delicious island cuisine. In other words, she was looking for the kitchen. On the way she discovered that the house contained several bedrooms, the largest of which was being shared by her friends. She found Reno and Rude snoozing away in their respective hammocks in the room they were sharing with Hatori. Vincent, it turned out, hadn't stayed the night in the house the whole time; he was always off somewhere else by himself, which didn't surprise Inwë much. The next stop was (finally) the kitchen. It was large, with screen doors lining the walls and leading to the porch outside. The sunlight glittered off the sea, creating a spectacular view that Inwë would have appreciated if she had not been too busy making herself a roast beef sandwich. Her friends filed into the room just as she was sitting down to enjoy her meal at the counter.

"This place is gorgeous, isn't it?" Shaedan asked with a grin as she peered out at the beach. Inwë's mouth was stuffed, so she just nodded. Amaya, being her typical self, sat down at the end of the counter and sipped on a glass of water without comment. Aki and Sakura sighed deeply as they stared out at the beach with wistful expressions. Inwë couldn't be certain, but she could have sworn they exchanged evil grins with one another. She decided to be on guard from now on.

"So…where'd the food come from?" the authoress asked once she'd swallowed her food and was capable of speech again.

"Reno and Rude brought it. Didn't you notice the beer bottles in the fridge? I thought for sure that'd give them away…" Amaya said half to herself.

"Oh."

"Are you feeling ok? Hatori said you shouldn't overexert yourself," Shaedan scolded mildly.

"Yes, because if you do, you will die! You will die a slow and horrible death, from which there is no escape! Blood! MUHAHAHA!" Aki said randomly. Everyone promptly collapsed into fits of laughter. Inwë started coughing after a minute, and they stopped smiling.

"Are you really always going to get sick while you're in the realms?" Sakura wondered.

"Hatori thinks so."

"That's horrible," Amaya said grimly, "I wish there was something we could do, but…" Inwë smiled sympathetically and waved off the offer.

"Think of it as a penalty for getting myself so close to dying."

"You weren't _that_ badly hurt," Sakura sniffed.

"Yeah, she was," the other three friends chorused. Inwë snickered. That was how she and her comrades were – they laughed off the threat of death and made a joke out of it. It was the only way to prevent them all from slipping into angst (which they often did anyway). Speaking of angst…

"Hey…where's Norrington? He didn't get hurt, did he?" Inwë asked nervously.

"He's fine. He's the one who found you!" Shaedan answered brightly. The authoress made a mental note to thank him later. She sighed contently as she downed a glass of milk and burped.

"Pardon me," she muttered, "It's not like I've eaten in three days." Inwë turned and squinted at Sakura, Aki, and Shaedan.

"By the way, you three…those dogs of Shinra didn't hurt you, did they?" she demanded.

"Nah," Aki replied, "They wouldn't dare. Sephiroth and the Mouth would have murdered them."

"Those two would have murdered them just for _fun_, so I'm going to believe you," Inwë sighed.

"Behold! It is I, the Voice of Reason!" Inwë and the others scrambled about for weapons that didn't exist. The authoress suddenly remembered her powers and snapped her fingers. There was a shriek from the Voice and a small white rabbit appeared on the counter. It had adorable huge brown eyes and soft white fur. Inwë looked disgusted.

"Ugh. I _despise _such misleading appearances," she snapped. Aki looked like she was in heaven.

"It's cute! It looks like Momiji!" she cooed.

"Don't be fooled. It's as evil as Fritzwilliam," Inwë warned her. Aki pouted while Amaya and Sakura had adopted evil and hopeful grins.

"Can we kill it?" they asked in unison. The Voice (or should it be the Rabbit?) whimpered softly. It stared at the authoress with a pitiful look in its eyes. Inwë snapped her fingers again. Nothing happened.

"Damn," she murmured, "I was hoping that was just a disguise. Whose idea was it to have _that_ be your true form?" The Voice-Rabbit's nose twitched.

"I thought it was cute."

"Think again – though, hang on. Are you a girl or a guy? A girl could get away with saying that's cute, but a guy…"

"Voices don't have genders."

"Right," Inwë said, "Well, I swore I'd have my vengeance. Cloud's bedridden 'cause of you, I almost died, my friends were all kidnapped, and you knowingly endangered canon characters." The Voice started bawling. Inwë glared at it, hesitating. Aki did have a point…it _was_ kind of cute…

"No! I will not give in to the fluffy cuteness!" the authoress yelped. She sat back down at the counter and concentrated on remembering every single evil thing the Voice had done during the course of the adventure. Without opening her eyes, she zapped the Voice straight into the dungeons below her house, where she also kept Umbridge and a Sue she had captured and intended to study (once it had stopped screaming for its precious Legolas to come and save it, that is). Grinning broadly, the authoress turned to her friends.

"I shall put an electric collar on that thing and zap it repeatedly when we get home. I can just see it bouncing off the walls…"

"Don't get carried away, Val." The teens all jumped and stared at Reno, who had just groggily wandered into the kitchen and was now rummaging through the fridge for a beer.

"You shouldn't be drinking this early in the day," Amaya pointed out. Reno shrugged.

"I'm off duty."

"Pfft. How do we know Rufus didn't send you on this crazy trip?" Inwë inquired. The Turk gave her an unpleasant grin.

"Rufus would never send two of his best bodyguards on a suicidal mission."

"Yeah, he would," Inwë answered grimly, "You know he would. If it's in his best interest, he'll do anything." Reno gave her an odd look.

"You really hate him, don't ya?" Inwë didn't answer.

"Whether or not Rufus sent you, you still shouldn't drink in a house full of teenagers. It sets a bad example," Shaedan pointed out in an attempt to divert the conversation away from Inwë's vendettas.

"As if any of us would start drinking just because _he_ does," Amaya snorted proudly. There was a _pop_ and a fizzing noise. Everyone turned and stared at the authoress, who was sipping out of what looked like a beer bottle.

"INWË!" they yelled in shock and horror.

"What? It's root beer! Try some if you don't believe me," she retorted coolly. Amaya glared at her, grabbed the bottle, tried a sip, and handed it back.

"Root beer," she assured the others. Inwë smirked smugly as she wiped off the bottle to remove any "Amaya germs". Reno stalked out of the room.

"You people are too loud. I'm gonna drink this outside," he called over his shoulder. Aki eyed him mischievously.

"Let's go into his room and put superglue in his shoes," she suggested half-jokingly.

"Aki, Rude's in there. We'd never get away with it," Inwë reminded her sternly. Aki sighed unhappily.

"What's the point of having the Turks around if you can't pull pranks on them?" she wondered aloud.

"Well…they _are_ good bodyguards…" Sakura said thoughtfully. Inwë groaned.

"I'm going to check on Cloud and then hunt down the Commodore. Anyone care to join me?" she asked, gulping down some more of her root beer and shooting her friends a quizzical look. They all volunteered.

Cloud's room was surprisingly hard to find. They spent fifteen minutes searching the house and ended up in Reno's room twice, their own room three times, and the kitchen once more. Finally someone had the sense to wake Rude up and ask him. Aside from the deathglare they received, there were no negative effects from waking him up. Once they had directions it only took about five minutes to find what they were looking for. They quietly rounded a corner and came across the open door of Cloud's room. Tifa was sitting in a comfy armchair on one side of the room, while Cloud was dozing on the bed in the opposite corner. Inwë tentatively knocked on the door. Tifa looked up sharply.

"Oh, you're awake too! That's great," she exclaimed. Inwë smiled and glanced at Cloud.

"How is he?" she asked, trying to keep the worry out of her tone.

"He'll be fine once he starts resting a little more. Right now he just wants to be up and about. You know Cloud," Tifa sighed. The authoress rolled her eyes.

"He can be such an idiot sometimes. But seriously, how badly was he hurt? The last time I saw him he was unconscious."

"A few cracked ribs and lots of cuts and bruises. The usual. Though," Tifa added, "this time was pretty bad. Good thing we had Hatori, right?" Her attempt at an optimistic smile was valiant but unconvincing. Amaya shook her head sadly.

"We should be going. Inwë needs her rest, too," she said quietly. Inwë gave her a bewildered look but nodded and followed her friends back to their room.

"He'll be all right, really he will," Amaya reassured the authoress as soon as they had shut the door, "But Tifa always worries about him so much…it's tiring her out. When I said you needed rest, I really meant _she_ needed rest. She hasn't left Cloud's side for more than ten minutes since we got back." Inwë let out a low whistle but didn't comment.

"Oh, Norrington!" she gasped, "I forgot to find him and thank him!"

"Do it when we get home. Hatori and the gang want to return tomorrow, so get some sleep. They'll be wanting a ride back to their worlds." Inwë muttered something about pirates and went to change into some pajamas.

* * *

**A/N: I'm gonna be away for a couple weeks, but I have the epilogue all written up so I'll update as soon as I get back. And then...the sequel! MUHAHAHA!**


	18. Epilogue

"You know," Inwë sighed as she took a sip from her root beer, "I think the whole affair got turned into a Sue story." She and her four friends were lounging about back at Inwë house, a week after they had returned home and dropped off the various characters. It was the first chance the five of them had had to kick back, relax, and discuss the insane adventure they'd been put through. At the authoress' comment, Amaya wrinkled her nose.

"It was real though, right? Sort of?" Aki and Sakura gave Inwë suspicious looks.

"Well…yeah," she said uncertainly.

"Then it wasn't a Sue story."

"But I should have died!" Inwë protested, "Sues _always_ nearly die but get saved at the last second."

"Cloud lived through what you did," Shaedan pointed out, "Twice."

"It's _Cloud_ we're talking about. He lives through _everything_," the authoress explained. Aki rolled her eyes and downed a large gulp of her soda.

"Whatever. Quit your whining and be thankful that everyone made it out in one piece," Amaya drawled. She started to take a drink from her root beer, but found that it was empty.

"You know, a _Sue_ would have soda that never runs out," she complained, suggestively shaking the can and giving Inwë a pointed look. The authoress winced.

"Ah. Yes. Well, you see…the fire kind of destroyed most of the house…it took a lot of hard work and authoress powers to set things right…and, uh…I forgot to…um…get more root beer." She smiled innocently. Her friends all gave her odd looks, suspecting something wasn't right.

"You did something," Aki said confidently. Inwë stared at her, eyes wide.

"Why would you think that?"

"That look on your face gives you away," Amaya replied. She raised an eyebrow and waited for a full confession. Inwë chuckled nervously.

"Ok, I give up! Before we left I poured out all the beer in the Turks' beer bottles and replaced it with root beer!" Shaedan and Sakura burst out laughing.

"When are they gonna figure that one out?" Aki inquired icily, "They are not going to be happy with you." Inwë sighed lazily.

"Oh, I expect they're saving it for when they get back…with my luck they'll share with Tseng and Elena. Maybe even Rufus." The authoress suddenly had a wistful look on her face. "I wish I could see the look on Rufus' face when –."

_Da-da-da-daa-duh-daaa-da-de-da!_

"What the -? Is that the ringtone from Loz's cell phone?" Amaya demanded. Inwë coughed and pulled out a black cell phone from her pocket.

"Tell me you didn't steal his phone," Amaya growled. The authoress shook her head.

"I wouldn't have had a chance even if I had wanted to. Nope, I only borrowed the ringtone. Now be quiet!" Aki's face lit up.

"Oh! Oh! Is it from Reno?" Inwë glanced down at the Caller ID and nodded.

"Put it on speaker!" Sakura, Aki, and Shaedan ordered in unison. Inwë grinned and obliged.

"Yo."

"VAL!" Reno's voice yelled, "What the hell did you do to our beer?" Aki and Sakura had collapsed into fits of silent laughter. Inwë was barely containing her own wild giggles. Amaya merely looked amused, though the authoress could tell she wanted to laugh.

"Beer? Oh, so _that's_ what I did with the soda…" she said half to herself. Reno growled.

"Reno, give me the phone," Tseng said in the background. Reno muttered something inaudible.

"Inwë, right?" Tseng asked. The authoress immediately stopped grinning and cleared her throat. Tseng was the current leader of the Turks, and – if Inwë ever had her way – her future boss.

"Yes, sir. I'm Inwë," she replied seriously. Amaya was leaning forward eagerly, an excited look on her face.

"You realize that getting Reno annoyed is a bad idea, don't you?"

"Well, of _course_ I do, sir," Inwë replied with more of the usual mischief in her tone. Tseng sighed deeply.

"There's a reason hot-headed people like you never make it into the Turks. We made that mistake once, and Reno was the result."

"Hey!" Reno could be heard snapping in the background. Aki and Sakura clamped their hands over theirs mouths to silence their hysterics. Inwë was suddenly looking very grave.

"I apologize, sir. I know pulling pranks is childish. It won't happen again -."

"I was _going_ to say," Tseng interrupted, "next time try not to replace the beer with soda that Reno's allergic to. He gets very grumpy when he has to take pills." The look on Inwë's face was memorable – it looked like she couldn't decide whether to be horrified or amused.

"Is he all right, sir? Is he sick?" she asked after a second, having settled on anxiety as her current state of mind.

"Oh, he's fine," Tseng assured her, "But you should see his face. His eyes were watering a while ago. They're all red and puffy now." The leader of the Turks chuckled, while Reno started on a string of muffled curses. Inwë sighed in relief.

"I'm sorry! I wouldn't have done it if I had known he was allergic!" she apologized in a panic. Tseng laughed.

"Don't worry. We all had a good laugh because of it, and that's always a welcome change. However," he added sternly, "don't pull something like that again. It's inconsiderate, and if Rufus had been the one to get sick…"

"I understand, sir."

"Good. Oh, and I heard about your run-in with Sephiroth," he added grimly, "I hope you and Cloud both make a full recovery." With that he hung up. Inwë closed her phone and sat there for a minute.

"I just got a call from the leader of the Turks," she said at last. Amaya smirked.

"I bet they'd let you join in a few years, if you got some training." Inwë sighed.

"I'd be working for Rufus. That would be hard. _Really_ hard."

"You could do it," Shaedan replied with a smile.

"Ya think?"

"Yep," Sakura agreed, "But you'd have to resist the urge to strangle him." Inwë pouted. She and her friends fell to discussing various aspects of working for Rufus, and later about what their dream _Final Fantasy VII_ jobs would be. As usual, they stayed up until some ungodly hour, all the while strengthening the thing that had convinced them to follow Inwë on her suicidal, near-impossible mission in the first place.

Friendship.

* * *

**A/N: Done! And here is a preview for the sequel…**

* * *

"Listen, Inwë, because I'm only going to ask you once: come down to the 7th Heaven, and together we'll see if we can figure out what's happened."

"No way. I'm _not_ going to be your bodyguard just because you're scared. I'll find them on my own, thank you very much!" Inwë snarled. Raven thought she was going to hang up, but there was only a brief pause.

"Rufus, I want to know _exactly_ what happened. It's important," the authoress growled at last. Raven blinked slowly. _Rufus Shinra?_ What was he doing, calling Inwë for help?


End file.
